Hey there EC. It's been a long time. Long story short. I still haven't come out to my parents. And I know it's something that everyone needs to do in their own time, when they're ready, etc. etc., but everything's gotten so out of hand that I don't even know where to start... I'm basically out across the board - except with family. It's so bad that even people at my usual fast food stops know me by my preferred name. I've gone to health conferences hours away without telling my family, and I'm preparing to set up an appointment in a few months with a clinic that runs on informed consent - that is, if they approve my prescription, I don't need any other approval to start taking hormones. On top of that, in a month I'll be part of a panel discussing LGBT topics at my school. I've come so close to coming out, and I know how much of a relief it will be at this point, no matter how they react. But I still can't muster up the courage. I've started dating a trans person, a while ago actually, and I can't get over what my dad said...how we argued about it. He said some awful things, not the least of which being that trans people are selfish and incapable of love. I was ready to say something, up until that point. :help: I've been struggling a little financially, and I need their assistance, but I can't keep quiet any more. It's all too much at this point. I really fucked it up this time...
Welcome back, Fox... I'm glad you have the chance to work with a clinic that runs on informed consent, and I don't think they'll try to gatekeep you, I've heard only good things from those. Well, it seems your father seems to have a strange idea of trans. I've dated trans, and I'm myself one, and I can't speak for everyone, but I don't think being trans invalidates none of the cis personal qualities, it just doesn't make any sense. I think you father doesn't think of trans as being nothing but trans, when the truth is we are just individuals who share a medical condition. Not sure how long he'll need to dig this fact, and I'm also not sure (because of what you mentioned about the financial aid) that coming out will be easy. At the same time, it seems to me you do want to come out. I know how hard it is to live a double life, and how it wears you. I'd say, go for it and take the step, it seems you want to anyways... Be ready for what is going to be thrown at you, and be ready to face financial hardship. One advice I can give you is to face all your father questions with a different mindset. Instead of seeing your father, try to picture a child. It's not different at some level, you know : Children have no idea, and ask questions. When you take some emotional distance, you find yourself on a better position to answer questions, because to remind neutral is way easier. You are just giving answers to questions. It's easier said than done, but it could be worth a try. We like to think our parents know everything, when the truth is we might know about stuff they never heard about. We all learn from each other, young and old, and that's the beauty of it. Many congrats, by the way, I'm glad for you!
