Unaccepting parents

Hey there, I'm sorry to hear about your parents and how they're treating you. It's definitely very unfair and it sucks to have to hear your dad say things like this.

Unfortunately sometimes parents, especially those who may have grown up/been raised in an unaccepting environment towards LGBT+, find it very hard to come to terms with their child being transgender. I would say it takes time, and it does - and sometimes parents go through this period of being really angry and unaccepting of their children but become great allies later on - but sometimes we're unsure how long that will take or even if that will happen. It doesn't make it any better for you emotionally though, and I get that. We're here for you and there will definitely be supportive people along this path.

Are you still living with your parents? If you are, your safety is the key. If they're simply saying stuff like that and you're in no immediate danger, try and continue to sit them down and have a conversation about yourself and just being transgender in general, show them resources, stories, links, groups for parents of trans people, if that is in any way possible. Sometimes they won't have patience for that, but if that kind of conversation is possible and you're in a safe enough place to do so, try and ease them into it by giving information and letting them make their own decision whether they're going to look into that information or not. Tell them that this is who you are, to use the right pronouns, to use the right name, and keep pressing that throughout.

If it's unsafe at home and you're not comfortable having those kinds of conversations (which is understandable too), unfortunately you might have to ride this out until you're able to move out or get to a safer place. Either way, it's good to find trans support groups, centres, hotlines, where you are, or maybe an LGBT+ centre where you can turn to no matter what.

If you aren't still living with your parents, then I would simply suggest maybe giving them some space and time to come to terms with this (but also you can keep lines of communication open, if that's what you're happy to do). Talk to them when you can about it, but eventually it rests on their shoulders to understand and accept you, even if it does take time. Meanwhile please find people - friends, other adults, those at trans centres - who can be there for you through this time period.

I'm sure I didn't cover everything and other people on here who might have more experience coming out and dealing with family in terms of trans issues, might have some more advice, but this is what I think personally. Good luck though, I hope it goes well.

 

I understand. I don't care about coming out to everyone, just my parents. I want them to accept me the way i am and support me(its about my orientation though)

 

You have to make your choice then, if you don't live with them. People who doesn't respect your boundaries and refuses to acknowledge your gender won't change, so you either endure that or cut all contact and give them some space, so they can think again. It could work, or it couldn't.

Can't really think of anything else... I gave a clear warning to someone as I came out, and they seem at least to respect the name, pronouns, and they didn't made any mistakes so far.