So um...Hi and thank you for taking the time to read this. Im a person who was born into a family who dont like to understand their childs point of view. They can be very controlling at times and it makes me feel ike i can do or be the things i want in life with out them judging me and being disappointed. For a very long time since i got boobs i have never been happy with the, i tell a lot of people that i hate them and rather be a flat chest, and i guess that was normal for a girl who had large breast to complain about i guess. After that in middle school when i found out what a penis looked like i was pretty amazed and thought i really want that instead of a vagina...but i never really told anyone that since i know its something others would be put off by so i stayed quiet about it. Later in freshmen year i first found out about ftm over tumblr, I was really interested in finding out more about trans guys thinking how cool they are and admire them for a while. I told my parents about it and they kinda reacted badly about it. Now im here thinking how it'll be cool to be a guy, but im also scared and i know that i cant be one because of family issues. I would like to identified a trans male but i really cant do much to look like one or i'll be disowned, and i really dont wanna be called 'fake' which i had seen a guy been called when he still had a bra on and have long hair with 'girly clothes'. I dont want that to happen to me or by mistake disrespect anyone with how i am.
Hello. Welcome to the forum . I'm sorry that your family isn't accepting of you. I am still discovering my own gender identity so for now, I'm keeping it to myself, but I did mention I was unsure about my gender identity to a co-worker, and she's asexual, and told me she thinks she maybe agender, but also isn't sure. Anyways, identifying as transmale or ftm doesn't do anything with appearances. It's how you feel. If you feel that you identify more with male than female, then you may be transmale. And you shouldn't be called "faked" for saying you identify as transmale because you don't look like how others picture "transmale". You don't need to get any surgeries or hormonal therapy to be considered transmale. It's all about how you identify. Gender is identify, sex is related to chromosomes and parts. Your sex may be female, but your gender may be anything. Maybe start with something small like get a boyish haircut. Or buy some boyish clothes. Then continue to progress however far you want. I hope this helps. Sorry if I said a pronoun to describe you, that was not my intent.
It's ok no need to apologize and thank you for the welcoming, i've been buying boyish clothes since last year and it makes me feel a bit better about myself honestly but i try to get things that my parents wont question me about. I thought about getting a binder one day but it kinda hard to figure out ow to buy it with out my parents knowing (i'm not sure if any local stores sells them). I had told a three of my friends how i felt but two just ignored me and the other actually told me like you said to try things in little steps. So far the new clothes i get like gives me that warm feeling inside, like every time i had to go bra showing i always felt depressed and just wanted it to be over with, that was also for dress shopping, and just 'girly clothing'. oh and thank you for taking the time to read this and reply.
You could always have friends order things for you online or get them for you. They can always give it to you when your parents aren't around and that way they won't know. Unless you have parents like my who search your room for "contraband". In that case keep things pretty well hidden or in your car if you have one. Best of luck to you, controlling parents make discovering your gender pretty hard but you'll be happier for it the sooner you start even if it's a slow start. Hope this helps.
That's good. I have been buying boyish clothes for years though I didn't know anything about gender identity. It made me feel good though. You could look online possibly if you have your own payment methods. Or get someone else to buy it for you. I got these bracelets about something else that my mom doesn't really approve and got my coworker to buy them for me and paid her back. And your friends didn't seem to good to it, which sucks. Maybe they need some time? Who knows. Good luck .
Sounds like you're a trans guy to me. There's nothing you have to do to look like one in order to count. I promise. I definitely understand wanting to change your appearance to match how you want to look and you feel you should look, but there's nothing you have to change just to please other people. Having to wear a bra and dress "like a girl" because your parents aren't accepting doesn't make you not a trans guy. It just makes you a trans guy who has to stay in the closet because of unaccepting parents. There might be people who doubt your gender because of how you present, but that's their fault, not yours.
Thank you guys for talking the time to reply and giving me advice. I really took everything in and imma try to be how i feel like, I found away to get a binder from one the friends i talked to shes willing to help me out with buying certain things that im not able to. After thinking about life and going into deep thought, im identifying as a male. With the family thing i know imma have hard times even with some of the people in my school, but its worth everything. I dont wanna die being miserable or being something im not happy as. Again thank you guys it means a lot to me.
Good job for figuring out yourself. And it's great one of your friends is willing to do that for you. It's going to be hard at times, but I'm sure you'll make it and be successful. Good luck .
