I came out as trans to my good friend. She knew that I wasn't particularily feminine, wasn't too attached to the "woman" word but still my CO some weeks ago made her surprised. The fact is I notice lately a lot of gendering towards me. Things like "every man like /brand/" (I don't), "you're emotional like a woman" etc. And of course she don't use male pronouns. When I told her actions are... funny... And I want her to stop I heard that I'm emotional like a woman, oversensitive and /list of my failings etc./ I'm not saint, she had some right. But she failed too for example when her friends told hurtful things about LGBT people around me and she didn't react. I'm tired of hearing such things, get a lot of it from my homophobic family. So how to explain to her that those things she says are hurtful and it's not me being oversensitive? :bang: We both are from families with problems. When it'll be to the point of me suffocating then I'll end this relationship. For now I want to explain it to her. Any suggestions? Cheers.
Like I wrote in the post. Or things like this:GLAAD launches trans microaggressions photo project #transwk | GLAAD
OK, this could just be me ... But if you're going to explain your feelings to her, do it without the word "microaggression," m'kay? Explain clearly what things you've heard her say that were hurtful to you, make it clear that you know she doesn't WANT to hurt you, duh. Just like you wouldn't want to say things to her if you knew they'd somehow hurt her. If you go in lecturing about "microaggressions" you're going to be talking about generalizations that don't apply to everyone. What's offensive to some trans people sometimes goes completely unnoticed by other trans people! We're not a monolith, aye? Neither are you. Tell her specifically what applies to you. Don't "explain microaggressions." Just my two cents.
Just be blunt and to the point, "when you do this, it bothers me because of this". When my friend wouldn't stop saying "tranny" I explained that it's equivalent to "nigger" and she understood. She was making a lot of effort to be accepting she just didn't know she was being offensive
