Every decision to come out makes me feel cis

Hmmm... Maybe you're still caught in some denial about your gender?

When I first came out, it was like a huge weight off my back (cliche, I know). There was a fleeting moment where I was like, "What if it's a phase after all?" But my dysphoria never stopped, and I knew in my heart it wasn't a phase.

Just give yourself some time to sort things out. Again, it might be doubt or denial, which we all deal with. Hopefully someone here will be able to better connect with you, but I wish you the best of luck. (*hug*)

 

Hello! Im not really sure I know the feeling, but is it possible that you could be some sort of gender-queer identity? Perhaps you just get so confident you override your Dysphoria? I know that's not how it works, and I don't think that could be possible, but I just don't know. I'm really sorry I didn't help much... I hope you get it all sorted out soon enough ^^ (*hug*)

 

I started making changes when I still was hesitating between woman/genderqueer/man. Switching to male pronouns (at first just in internet forum), changing hairstyle, glasses, slowly buying clothes (still am). I even had some coming outs when I was still hesitating. I analised how I feel about all those things and was deciding based on that feelings. At some days even when I was sure how I feel there were days when I had no dysphoria and I was ok being a woman. But it doesn't change anything. I'm trans guy.

Don't plan ahead, do it spontaneously. Those kind of changes you can always reverse.

 

I can sort of relate to this.
I hate going to the dentist and every time I really need to go, as soon as I sit down in the waiting room, my teeth don't hurt anymore. Once I nearly walked out of the room because I thought, well, if my teeth have stopped hurting, what's the point in being here? Of course my teeth would have started to hurt again a few hours later, it's a psychological thing.

In a way you might feel the same. It might seem like it's easier to pretend you are cis, but as you said, those feelings will always return.
Like Kiran said, you don't have to go from 0 to 100 in mere days. Try making smaller changes, drop hints to people and examine how you feel after each step.

 

Yes, for me it's fear. Coming out is scary. And also, not feeling secure about what I'm gonna say. As I'm getting more convinced recently, I feel less fear to tell someone. I'm afraid of questions I wouldn't be able to anwser - and it grinds my own insecurity and doubts, and what ifs.

 

Take a few deep breaths you've got all the time in the world don't rush things take your time and when you feel comftbale with what you are! Then you can start thinking about coming out to people then!

 

I've had really similar experiences. I'm pretty sure it's an anxiety thing. When I came out to my parents, I proceeded to "feel like a girl" for about a week, as well as being incredibly uncomfortable talking about gender with my parents. Coming out really freaks me out, and it sends me back into denial and a fear that I was completely wrong about being trans. Same thing happened when I came out as liking girls in high school, and the fact that I've happily been in a relationship with my girlfriend for over a year pretty definitively shows that despite my doubts and fear and denial, I definitely wasn't wrong about my sexuality.