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Will my family start to wonder if I got short hair?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Nike007, Mar 2, 2016.

  1. Nike007

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    Hello. As stated a few days ago, I want to get short, like really short, hair. I currently have medium length hair, which goes up to my shoulders, but is wavy, so it's actually a bit longer than that. But I want to cut it really short so it looks more androgynous. But if I do this, will my family question why I want it so short? I don't want to say "because I want to" because they'll just ask why. I have not come out to anyone but online, so I am worried about it. I also want to buy a pair of more masculine glasses, because I'm more of a mascandrogyne than in the middle, but I don't want people to ask me yet. I am not fully ready to come out. I have found something to describe me after years of thinking "tomboy" because these issues aren't talked about publicly. It was the same way as having mental illnesses. I told my mom and she rejects it basically. My psychiatrist wanted my mom to go over OCD with me, but she never did. This conversation was 4 months ago. So coming out to her, she'll freak out. My dad straight out said that he doesn't care if I'm lesbian or bisexual. He never said anything about gender before, but he did mention sexuality. I think he'll be more open to it than my mom for sure. I want to tell my friends because my friends already have friends who have different sexual orientations than what society deems "normal" so I feel they'll be okay with it, but I'm really scared of the negativity.

    Sorry, my post changed topics, but what should I do if they question why I want short hair? I just decided that I am androgyne, but what if I'm wrong because this was decided a few weeks ago, but I have been thinking about it for a few months now. I read people here who haven't come out after years so I don't want to feel like I'm rushing after a few weeks. It will look normal in terms of clothes shopping because I have always done that, but what about my hair? I also want to get masculine glasses. When I'm older, I am getting a good size tattoo on my arm too. I know gender isn't about appearance, but I want people to see me as my gender. I always feel awkward now because people say "girls" with me included. I realize I'm not a girl, but before knowing about different genders, I was angry when people called me a man, but now I don't think I mind as much. I wonder about the school too. Will teachers ask me about how I look? It's not just my family, but my friends, co-workers, and teachers. I probably will tell my CYW, but other than that... I don't know. I haven't seen my CYW in two weeks when I normally see her weekly and my world kinda has fallen apart. Sorry, really off topic, but I kinda wanted to get all of this off my chest. Thanks for reading this :slight_smile:.
     
  2. Kiran

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    Hey. Nobody in my family bothered when I got my hair shorter and unisex cut. they loved it actually. They loved my male glasses too! Nobody asked why. Everybody loved it, which was strange. I'm not out to my family, and they are anti-LGBT. I think mayb e everybody loved the new change because I loved it too and felt better...

    I don't think if you will choose complementing haircut/glasses - they will just notice better look,

    Cheers.
     
  3. Nike007

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    Thanks for this. I'm kinda freaking out a bit, but I told my mom today I want a haircut and she said we'll get it done this weekend.

    My mom doesn't want me to get dark rims for my glasses, and that's what I want. How do I compromise? Thanks for your story and advice :slight_smile:.
     
  4. Distant Echo

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    Good luck with the haircut.

    As for the glasses. Make sure she is with you when you pick the glasses. Try on lots of different ones, keep on coming back to dark rimmed ones...be more enthusiastic about the dark rimmed ones...pick a pair that suits your face shape...I think it'll be easier than you think...
     
  5. Kiran

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    The ones I have are black and yellowish. The yellowish parts are "backlight" that make the glasses not so dark, you see tint of yellow.
     
  6. Mihael

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    I agree that "I like it" should be enough of a justification.

    When I went to buy glasses rim with my mom, she was quite disappointed that I choose so masculine-looking ones all the time... But in the end, she loves my glasses, even though they have dark rims, and loves that I'm happy about them. I simply picked what I liked. They match my hair colour :> And they have the yellow "backlight" too. It looks really good.

    As for hair, I haven't cut my hair, but when someone cuts their hair from long to short, everyone is complementing. My mom was disappointed again when I cut my hair from very long to medium length, and was moaning a lot... My mom did an awful lot of moaning, tbh. But she stopped at some point and accepted that, and she's happy that I'm happy with my looks. So the story ended well.

    ---------- Post added 3rd Mar 2016 at 02:32 AM ----------

    And hugs, stuff will be fine
     
  7. Nike007

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    Thanks.

    I was planning on ordering my glasses online at my dads. Maybe I'll just wear them there? I like my glasses, but I don't wear them all the time because I don't like how they look on me. I want to wear glasses all the time and I want to feel happy about them. I think my face shape is circle tbh.

    ---------- Post added 3rd Mar 2016 at 07:20 AM ----------

    Maybe I should go red with black then to match my hair? I found some cool looking ones from the site I order from "goggles4u". They have a multicolour option, but the front is black and the sides are multicolour, but a dark multicolour.

    That's good. I feel people will notice it more from long or medium to short because that's how society is. I just hope my mom doesn't complain about it. And thanks :icon_bigg.