So, I got my start in masculinity by doing drag. I like the way fake facial hair looks on me. I use human hair the same color as my own and spirit gum and take my time layering and trimming. I'm not bad at it. I've made middle aged white women (my mom's friends) think I'm a trans guy who's growing my own, at least. But they don't really know much about it and they almost never see me to know that I didn't have it yesterday and I'd have to have magic powers to grow this overnight, so I think anyone who knew me at all would immediately recognize that it's not real, even if strangers might not be able to tell. It would be completely amazing if I could just have real facial hair one day and a smooth face the next and just have it be no big deal, and the next best thing would be to be able to wear fake facial hair and have no one care and have it not be a big deal. But this is not a perfect world. And I just don't know how much ridicule I would get from even trying to do this with classes in the mix. I just look like I might actually be not just butch but -masculine- with facial hair, and given the condition of my gender, hormones and other permanent changes are out of the question. How would you react if a classmate you knew as a butch lesbian, more or less, showed up with a not-bad-but-not-real beard one day? How do you think people around you would react? I don't know how to come out of the closet with this, what do I lead with? Do I ease people into it, do I just not come out at school? How do I navigate this and still have people respect me? Edit: I should probably add that I've been binding to go to class sometimes and dressing in androgynous/more masculine clothing the whole time they've known me. Expressions of masculinity aren't something I've never done. Expressions of femininity aren't unusual for me either, I'm equally likely to wear a push up bra as a binder. I've just not crossed the facial hair boundary and I don't know if I should.
To be honest, I don't think this would be the best idea to come out at school. If I had no idea about trans issues, I'd most likely just be very confused, I might even think it'd be a little weird, until you explain why you are wearing the facial hair. I think it'd be wiser to first come out and then slowly start with the fake facial hair. Maybe I'm just pessimistic though, I don't know.
I'm trying to challenge my perceptions of what should and shouldn't remain in the closet, because if I let myself, I feel so much shame about who I am, and I really wish I could push past that. Or at least take steps to move past it. I don't even know how to begin coming our at school. I've normally just done things without telling anyone and hoped people either wouldn't notice or wouldn't care. But facial hair is at least bordering on what they'd start to care about. What about friends? I have a pathfinder group that I'd be comfortable with (all except one guy I'm a little nervous about being judged by) who know I'm genderfluid. How could I go about this issue around them?
I've never had to come out at school, so I'm afraid I can't really say anything useful.. :/ You definitely shouldn't be ashamed of who you are though! Do you have any close friends at school who you could talk to? I think with your friends it might be a little easier. Maybe just talk to them about your drag shows and how you'd like to bring some features (as in the fake facial hair) into your private life and see how they react?
Eyeliner or other dark makeup applied in a stipple pattern foes a decent job of mimicking a thick patch of facial hair.
If I were going to wear facial hair, I'd take the time to do it nicely and be well groomed. Everyone knows an eyeliner beard is an eyeliner beard, but if you do it right real hair with spirit gum is only suspicious because it wasn't there yesterday. And it feels different to touch, but no one touches my face anyway. I've shown people pictures of me in drag, I'll start hinting around that I'd like to do that more and see if my friends react well. I think they will, but I gotta make at least a little leap of faith to find out.
