Do you think there is a difference?

See the thing between the two people you've described is how they feel. A 'chromic tomboy' may have the mannerisms, looks and interests are a stereotypical guy but she would still feel comfortable in her female body. She wouldn't have a problem with she/her pronouns being used towards her and she wouldn't experience gender dysphoria. That's where the difference lies. A trans guy would feel extreme discomfort in his body and being referred to with female pronouns. So yes, there is a difference. Also a trans guy doesn't need to have the interests or mannerisms of a streotypical guy to be valid, either. So whilst there is overlap between the two and some people who believe they're just tomboys then realise they're trans (that was how it was for me) it's not that way all the time. If you're comfortable and happy with yourself, you do you.

 

About themseves. Like I said, gender is an internal feeling, it's not external at all. If you're feeling dysphoria and a general discontent with your body and how people are peceiving you, you're likely to be trans. If you're not but you still act quite 'boyish' then you're probably a cis-woman, just a masculine woman.

 

A trans man doesn't just feel like a man, they are a man...

So yes, there is a huge difference between the two, a tomboy is by definition female, a trans man is male... it is pretty much asking what's the difference between a man and a tomboy. A girl is usually considered a tomboy if her gender expression is dominantly masculine, being trans has nothing to do with gender expression. The girl that you are describing is most likely simply trans in denial because you describe her mind as that of someone male, just because she defines herself as a tomboy it doesn't mean she actually is one. It's her choice but in the future she might begin to suffer from gender dysphoria and consequently feel a need to transition. The labels that people choose to identify with are nothing more than labels, what matters is who you are inside and that's something that you can't escape from as it starts hurting you at some point in your life.

---------- Post added 5th Mar 2016 at 05:57 PM ----------

Sorry, I should have used neutral pronouns when speaking about the theoretical person in question as if they really are trans it would obviously be wrong to use female pronouns. :icon_redf

 

I'm glad you found a gender identity that feels right to you. (*hug*)

 

Look: how you behave doesn't determine your gender. I'm a guy. And I love acting feminine. I love being cute, soft, make gifts... And that doesn't make me a girl. I'm a 100% guy! (Well, more like 50% guy 50% enby or something like that)
One of my classmates is a super tomboy girl. And she is nothing like a guy

 

Sigh, I reread what you wrote and realized that you weren't saying that you feel the identity is right for you, just that you like the philosophy. Sorry, I'm not really concentrating very well today. :icon_redf

 

What everyone else said. Trans men are men, and tom boys might identify with masculinity, but are likely fine with being AFAB.

 

Being genderqueer isn't the same as being agender (without a gender). Genderqueer is much like non-binary in the sense that it's an umbrella term for genders that aren't part of the binary. So that might describe you if you can't find a specific term.

A lot of trans people experience dysphoria and personally I don't see how you could be trans without having it. If you're comfortable with your body and being percieved as your birth sex then why would you feel the need to transition? I mean it's up to each person individually but to me if doesn't make sense. I'd suggest looking in a mirror and saying to yourself "I'm a girl", "I'm a boy" and "I'm neither a girl or a boy", it sounds stupid but it really can help cement how you feel. Also imagine people using different pronouns for you. If you're feeling uncomfortable hearing female pronouns then that would be an indication that you're trans. See which ones would make you feel most comfortable and that you can identify with the best.

If you're unsure you have time to think about it. I started off identifying as genderfluid and then moved to non-binary and eventually FTM. It took me a couple of years to accept myself and get to this place where I'm starting to come out to others. There's no rush. Just make sure you're properly interpreting how you feel.

 

Emerry you clearly suffered from gender dysphiria not so long ago. Here's something you wrote a short time ago:

"I had body dysphoria as a teen. Since I didn't know that I feel like a boy, it never took the form of "this body isn't mine". I just didn't understand what was going on (emotionally, intellectually - I was informed before what's up to happen) and was unhappy about it. I wanted it to stop, but most of my puberty happened in an eyeblink and early. It all just felt gross, wierd, alien, even though I rationally knew that it's normal female puberty and that it was supposed to happen. I lacked some fundamental understanding, instinct... I dealt with body dysphoria somehow and it went away. I mean, I will never have the instinctual understanding of being female, but I can happily live as I am.*"

When you take actions towards transitioning, it helps reduce the intensity of gender dysphoria and when you are still young, gender dysphoria is much less painful to deal with. At the moment it is probably mainly under the surface making you slightly uncomfortable which is most likely why you feel the need to identify as male. Why else would you be agonizing about this? There is clearly something that is making you uncomfortable with the idea that you are female and that is one of the ways gender dysphoria influences our perceptions. It can be really hard yo notice it and in the past I connected the symptoms to a large amount of other problems, from ADHD to having a severe anxiety disorder. You also a while back wrote anout how you are feeling a sense of grief which is also a symptom of gender dysphoria.

Someone a while back wrote here something that I completely agree with: "you can't be trans without feeling gender dysphoria but pretty much everyone who identifies as trans does suffer from gender dysphoria they simply can't yet see it in themselves because it can be extremely hard to recognize it." I will add that part of the problem is that we have always been as we are and we can't really know how other people feel so we just assume thst everyone feels and thinks in the same way. We just rationalise that the feeling of inner turmoil is normal and everyone feels as uncomfortable as we fo about being male or female. Especially when most of the time we are feeling ok and don't think about that part of us that is screaming out that something is really wrong.

One thing that I haven't mentioned is how one of the ways that many people cope with gender dysphoria is by disconnecting from our body and numbing ourselves, so we stop feeling distressed. It takes away the pain but also makes us stop feeling alive in many ways, a weird emptiness that lies deep inside as if something is missing. I'm mentioning this just in case you are in such a place.

 

Gender is complicated! ^^

I highly recommend this video on Youtube: [YOUTUBE]5PhEppdwArA[/YOUTUBE]

x

 

Congratulations for finding out.
Hey so ur genderqueer too? You said you liked that label? I'm trans guy genderqueer. Demi. Just in case you didn't knew that existed but it looks you're already a Demi guy? lol

Good luck with ur journey Emerry

 

Ah, that's interesting! What do you mean by approach?