Okay, so I've been thinking about this for quite a while-- Most people think of Cisgender people as adhering to the gender binary, and trans/queer people as being non binary. I'm transexual teen girl, and yet most people label me as non binary because im cisgender-- even my gender therapist referred to me as non binary once-- shes very good and understands how i identify, it was just a word choice-- so here's the thing-- while most non cis people are also nonbinary, and I certainely think that other gender identities are valid (my best friend is gender fluid after all) I personally feel that as transexual i am extremely binary, just i identify on the opposite side most people would expect me to. I'm having trouble explaining myself, but can anyone see what im saying? that someone who fully identifies either way regardless of there trans/cis status, should be seen as conforming to the binary? it always bugs me when people identify me as non binary can anybody relate?
I can relate on the opposite end, Im gender-fluid, I am the mere definition of Non-Binary. but I still get thrown under as "Butch Femme" or "Girl who dresses like A dude". It's overall frustrating.
I've always thought that no matter if you were cis or trans, if you identified as either male or female then you were part of the binary? I wouldn't use the term non-binary to refer to a transman/woman because.. they're not non-binary, they know their identity is that of the opposite sex so why would they be anywhere in the middle, that doesn't make sense. I'm sorry you have to deal with that ignorance, you're most definitely part of the binary and shouldn't let others lack of knowledge make you feel less than your identity.
Hmm... as far as I know, most non cisgender people are actually binary trans, non binary gender identities are as it stands, rarer than binary trans gender identities. If you identify as a trans woman you are considered to be within the binary as you are simply female. This isn't really that confusing and I can't really understand why your gender therapist tried to label you as non binary if you identify otherwise. The people that you have been talking to seem to be a bit ignorant about the subject matter. (*hug*) Eveline
Mostly because you're not. I've never seen anyone say this, but that assumption is extremely wrong! Tho I mostly find myself confused about that. As a guy I'm binary. But I'm Demi guy so I'm nonbinary too. Ironically I'm like demi nonbinary :eusa_doh:
You confuse me a little... For one thing, you said you are cisgender. A type-o? Anyway, as others have said, you're binary by definition. You identify clearly as being female. However, being binary does not mean that you have to conform. You need only look at the masculine women and feminine men in the world to know that. I'm binary in my identity. That doesn't mean that I have to conform to 'the gender binary' however, because when one says 'the gender binary' one usually includes such things as gender stereotypes into that. Hmm... I wonder if I would still identify as transsexed even if people never treated me as a male when I was younger and stuff because of how I looked, i.e. if I would still have had the freedom of expressing myself femininely. I do hate my body. But from what I've read, a lot of theory points to that this discomfort has a social foundation, (likely mixed up with a biological one)... Like, you realize that people treating you opposite or very different from what you like is due to them classifying you by your anatomy, and thus you start to foster a resentment toward your own anatomy. Maybe I would never have had it if I would have been free to express myself from the start. Who knows? Hmm... Anyways, it isn't a question I'll be getting any clear answer on, I think, since that would pretty much require an environment where there is no social gender. Like, living on an island alone, or with only people who did not force you to conform to the stereotypes of your assigned gender. Or better yet, if there was no assigned gender.
Well actually that is not completely true... When I was younger and found I was enby, I was soooo cool with my body. I used to think that if I could come out as enby and not change my looks I'll be happy! Well I was wrong. Hell wrong. Even if my friend calls me he now, I do feel top dysphoria. It's not about how people see me, it's not how people would like a guy to look. It's just how I'll like to look. Y'know?
Yes, most of the people in my life are very ignorant-- as far as my therapist she actually is very educated, and very good-- as I said i think that was just poor word choice--she said in passing, and wasnt trying to label me as anything. but everyone else, yeah there ignorant--my grandparents have all but disowned me over it TBH ---------- Post added 5th Mar 2016 at 08:44 PM ---------- yeah, that was a typo-- i was on a phone, and typing quick-- probably autocorrect
You're binary. So am I. Being trans doesn't make someone automatically nonbinary. Sounds like the people around you just don't really understand what nonbinary means. I think a common misconception is that the gender binary refers to gender stereotypes, and that people who don't fit stereotypes are "not conforming to the gender binary". This isn't true, because lots of men and women don't conform to stereotypes, and they are not nonbinary. Nonbinary refers to genders that aren't male or female. Trans women and trans men are just as binary as cis women and cis men.
I get how you feel. It's kind of annoying when people make assumptions about your gender identity just by looking at you or knowing you're trans.
Its annoying but I think it's not worth getting hung up on. I like the way the OP explained themselves in the first post, and certainly a therapist should try to use your preferred label. However I do not personally believe that most cis people can fully accept/process gender variations. No matter how supportive they are they have a hard time not comparing you to the social expectations for your physical sex vs your preferred gender. They can be fully supportive but they will still make mistakes. It all comes down to the fact that all people struggle to appreciate things they don't experience first hand. People can try to understand another's situation but they can only form opinions based on their own experiences. I can totally understand why a cis therapist might lump trans folk in under non-binary, or why many cis people think of gender fluid people as girly guys and butch girls. A) trans issues are new in the public mind and it takes time for new ideas to sink in and B) the vocabulary specific to trans issues is new and evolving, and varies from place to place.
