I don't want to sound overly dramatic but I feel like I'm in my own circle of hell right now. I was so excited to have a gender clinic consultation in a few days. But then I started having really, really bad fibroid cyst pain. Need a bunch of tests, including an ultrasound, and I had to delay my appointment and can't really pursue it until I know what's going on. I just dunno what to do right now. It feels like every time I get close to starting on T, something happens. Either I get sick or I don't have money or something's fucked up with my insurance. I've had to wait over three years of pursuing it to even get close to starting and honestly I'm kind of losing hope... And I just feel really alone right now because my medical problems aren't something cis men deal with. So I get a bunch of women saying shit like "ooh I deal with cysts too you're a cyster" and I feel really dysphoric and invaded with all these tests and ultrasounds. I've had cyst pain before but never this bad. It's to the point where I'm just going to give up dealing with my insurance and I'll settle for the ER. I don't know why I'm making this thread. Just needed to vent.
No problem. I understand you. Whenever you feel like chating you just drop me a hi, ok? I get what you're saying. It's like periods. I normally try to joke about it saying I've got MENStruation. It's pretty funny. But as I'm not fully out I don't like it when my mom tells someone that I'm menstruating for them to understand the conversation. They start talking about stuff like that. And it's mostly like "yeah poor girls that have really bad cramps" and I'm like there is also men that have period cramps? Seriously? And also one really fucked up day where my mom started talking about how it would be to be a guy with me and my aunt (not out to her) and when my aunt said "yeah like what would be the difference between girls and boys?" My mom, -COMPLETELY FORGETING IM A GUY OR SOMETHING- said "penises duh hahaha" :tears: and I felt the world collapse. That was SO TRANSPHOBIC AND I CANT UNDERSTAND HOW ALWAYS THAT WE TALK ABOUT PERIOD SHE SAYS TRANSPHOBIC STUFF :tantrum:
