(I'm sorry if this whole thing just seems like a mess, my thoughts are just all over the place right now and my story telling will be kind of spaced out.) A few months ago I was questioning my gender and had decided that I was gender queer, but maybe a month or so afterwards I felt like that didn't fit what I felt so I started trying to figure out what I identify as, but stopped because I was becoming stressed over not knowing what I was. When I was questioning my gender I had seriously thought I was gender fluid but when I came across gender queer I completely dismissed thought, which probably wasn't a smart thing to do. About a month ago I started thinking of things to buy because I was getting paid for my report card and I had thought about getting a binder (I even went through measuring my chest and asking my ftm friend the best type of binder/company to buy one from) but decided to not get the binder and wait instead. When I was like in remission during questioning multiple times I did wake up and did not feel feminine at all and since my initial questioning I did start to go by she/they and have actually cringed at times when someone has called me she. I could be overacting and letting my questioning get to me, but I honestly do even know anymore. When I think about how I would want to present myself I do want come off as more androgynous maybe a bit more masculine and I actually wore a snap back hat yesterday and a tank top from hot topic (I basically looked like a skater) and my friend and also my sister had said I looked like a boy and I was excited because when I have days where I strive to look masculine but just look more so tomboyish its just a disappointment but when I had actually looked like a boy and my own parents didn't recognize me I felt so much better about my gender until I took off what I was wearing and I just saw a girl again and I just honestly don't even know anymore what I could be I just want to know, but then I just want be okay gender queer and try not to label myself. I'm sorry if this is just so all over the place, but I can't think of anywhere else to go to find help, I know I should ask myself what I think I am, but that just doesn't work anymore.
I-it's ok. I know that feel. When I was gender neutral I was really confused but I loved to dress as a guy. I tried to look like a guy. "Tomboy" they told me. It's ok. There are a lot of Enbies that would like to look androgynous. And well done for finding what you'll like
I can relate to a lot of what you've said here. The advice I can give you is to not stress out over what you are. I know it's hard not knowing how to identify, I really do, but eventually you'll figure things out. It takes time, and it's okay to not know. You should try to experiment without questioning yourself too much. Just do what feels nice, find what fits you, once you have a better grasp on that you can look around for a label. Labels should come after you get a better understanding of yourself. And they're not so important anyways. Getting that binder would be a great idea I think, if you still have enough money to. It's not a permanent change so you don't really risk anything, and it's really worth trying it. Good luck !
And if you ever need help with anything, don't hesitate to drop me a chat, ok? even finding a label, in the future