So, ok. I know I made a blog post a while back about realizing how proud I was to be trans* and how I shouldn't care what people think, I should just accept myself, etc. Maybe that was true at the time but recently I've still been kinda scared. Not for the reason that being trans* is considered "weird" although that might be part of it. My sense of gender changes from time to time so I'm never 100% sure what it actually IS and I get super stressed when I can't figure something out. The other reason is that I'm not out yet. Yeah, some of my friends know but most people I interact with don't. And I really want to come out but I guess I'm worried that as soon as I do I'll suddenly stop being trans*. I had been questioning for about a month before it just slapped me in the face. I feel like anything that happens that suddenly is just as likely to un-happen all at once. (Bonus points if you know what book I'm paraphrasing from) TL;DR - Being unsure about my gender sometimes and not being out makes me insecure and somehow makes me feel invalid or that I'm lying to myself. Reading this over, it sounds kind of stupid. Still gonna post though. I need to vent this. :help:
I felt the same way, I was scared that if my mind went back and forth too many times people would stop taking me seriously. One thing that you can do (I saw that you are out to your dad) if he's supportive, ask him to go to a gender therapist. Those people are the best ones to assure you of your own thoughts and opinions on yourself. Also, talk to your dad sometimes. If you need to vent, it's a lot easier to do it in person. But don't be scared of coming out for that reason, unless there is something else that you think will make you feel like you're not trans. And, just remember, not all trans guys are extremely masculine, but that's what they feel comfortable living like. And not all trans women are super feminine, they just want to feel better in their body. I hope this helped!
I wouldn't recommend coming out just yet. Wait a few months. You'll be much more secure and be sure you won't have those embarrassing moments when urghhhhhh...
