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Very, very, very, very, very confused :/

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by ConfusedBrit, Mar 10, 2016.

  1. ConfusedBrit

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    Hey, I'm Matthew from Manchester and I came on here just because I'm very confused (as the title suggests). I've been feeling kinda crappy about myself and my gender for a few months now and have been getting really angry at the people around me which hasn't been helping - I keep trying to find the answer, whether I'm genderfluid, androgynous, MtF etc. but none of it seems to fit with what I feel in my head...I don't even know anymore :confused:
     
  2. noname8387

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    what makes you think you are not cisgender?
     
  3. ConfusedBrit

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    I feel like I'm not because I've always felt annoyed that I couldn't have the things that girls have - dresses, makeup etc. but I don't really know what that means
     
  4. WyldStyle

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    Do you ever find yourself looking at a girls dress or outfit and thinking "I really want to wear that?"

    also...

    are you biologically content with your body, but felt that if you were the other sex you'd be happier?

    If you answer yes to both of these questions, then you're a lot like me. I really just like the idea of living as a girl and doing girl things despite being a guy, so cross dressing, breaking gender norms, etc.
     
  5. Matto_Corvo

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    You don't have to be a girl to wear make up, a dress, heels, etc. Guys who do drag are still guys.

    The question is if you want to physically be a girl or orecieved as a girl by those around you.
     
  6. ConfusedBrit

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    I would say yes to both of those so thanks WyldStyle (loving the Lego Movie references by the way xD), glad to know that I'm not alone :slight_smile:

    And thanks to you also Caduti, I feel like that's what I might be but I just feel like it'd be such much easier if I was physically a girl, I don't know - I quite often get annoyed at my body but whether that's because I don't like that it limits me or because I want to change it, I don't know
     
  7. WyldStyle

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    Thanks Brit :slight_smile: You are most definitely not alone, people like you and me are a unique breed of awesome, which is really awesome, because everything is awesome (!)

    But really, my advice to you would be to just start exploring. Get yourself a skirt or a dress, one that floats a bit when you spin, then give yourself a twirl in the mirror and see how good it feels and how pretty you look. Small things like that to boost your confidence and really test the waters for ya. :slight_smile:
     
  8. ConfusedBrit

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    Thank you Lucy (see what I did there) - we so are, glad I've found someone who agrees with me :grin:
     
  9. Michael

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    It's harder for males to break the gender expression rules, and even orientation, on that aspect it is 'easier to be' female. On the other hand, females are physically weaker, and the average female often has to go through things like domestic violence, sexual abuse, unwanted pregnancies, poverty, and so on. Even the luckiest female will endure the unavoidable cat-calls and the countless males who will try their luck by doing the most annoying and stupid things you can imagine.

    The pressure for a female to be beautiful, thin and young is huge. There are also very strict limits about her sexual activities : Too much, and she'll be called a slut, none or too little she'll be called frigid.
    Still to this day a woman's physical appearance will count for 70% of how others treat her, at least at first. An attractive female will have many doors open without having to prove anything, which is a double edged sword, depending on how you see it.

    Neither being female or male is just easier. It might feel easier for you, that is the question you need to answer for yourself. You can experiment with make up, clothing, and get informed about what is dysphoria. No one can answer those questions for you, and probably you'll need your time to think about it... And then probably think again.

    Last thing... Take it easy. And whatever the answer is, don't be afraid or scared : It's you, and you are not a tiny little bit worse than anyone. The world can be your oyster. (*hug*)
     
  10. ConfusedBrit

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    Thanks Michael, I just need to work things through for myself I guess, just haven't felt normal for ages and want to know what's going on - thanks for the support (*hug*)