I've identified as lesbian for just under a year but I've recently questioned my gender a lot. I didn't grow up knowing that I was gay, it literally just occurred to me a last year but I think it might be the same with my gender. I wear typically masculine clothes and mainly shop in the men's section. My parents are both convinced that I'll "grow out of this tomboy nonsense" but I think it's more permanent, everything about me says BOY, I'm even getting my hair cut short. It seems very straight forward, I'm clearly trans but the thing is I HATE male pronouns. With a passion, if anyone ever referred to me as he/him I'd flip out. I don't know if it's because I was bullied by people at school calling me a boy when I wasn't or if I'm just not trans, but I need insight from those who know what their talking about instead of patronising people who just seem to say I'll figure it out soon. I've also considered talking to a gender therapist but I'm definitely not talking to my parents anytime soon just because I'm not ready, they don't know I'm gay or questioning my gender
I don't want to tell you how to live, or identify, but nothing you've said would lead me to believe your trans. If you're not comfortable living as a boy, you'd likely detransition if you did go through with it. It's fine if you want to be traditionally masculine, have short hair, wear guys clothes, whatever else. If it's just gender roles, and you don't feel a real need to be male biologically or live as a guy, I'd recommend reconsidering.
Being trans is an internal feeling. You feel male, you want to be perceived as male in society, you want people to use male pronouns towards you. Nothing external is really linked to gender identity e.g. clothing, hair, expression, etc. So if you can't stand male pronouns and are only expressing yourself in a masculine way then it'd lead me to think that you're not trans but just gender non-conforming and you don't follow the stereotypical female roles and apperance. Obviously I can't tell you how you feel but I'd really research gender identity a little more. One thing that tends to be a big factor in realising whether or not you're trans is how you feel about your body. Are you comfortable with yourself the way you are? Do the parts of you that are linked mostly to being assigned female at birth distress you in any way (chest, hips, etc.)? If so that may mean that you experience dysphoria which tends to indicate that you're trans.
This may sound super cheesy but this did really help, especially coming from someone that knows what they're talking about. I've did have a look at a few more gender identities and I'm starting to lean towards Demi-Female. It makes a lot of sense to me and sort of joins all the dots together. Thank you.
