Earlier today I thought about if I could perhaps phrase the most central problem when it comes to (more extreme, not layman) gender questioning. What I came up with was: "Are my body, gender expression and gender role sufficiently inconsistent with my psyche to the point that transitioning is desirable, if not necessary?" I find thinking about it like that makes the whole thing a bit easier. This way, you can try to measure your dysphoria versus your desires and see for example how often you feel like "I'd have preferred to present as another gender in this situation", how strongly you feel that, and on the other hand, how often you're okay with how things are.
Idk. By that question since my dysphoria is not great/crippling then its not strong enough to transition . And to some people the desire to be the opposite sex is a form of dysphoria in itself. Really gender expression and gender roles have never been the issue for me. And again, my body doesn't give me to much problem though I do wish it were male. But my desire...that unexplainable want to be a guy...that drives me crazy. It keeps me up and has me thinking of the future, makes me think none of stop of transitioning and going on T, and has me imagining my future as a guy at least physically.
The way I see it is that there are two primary kinds of dysphoria, which may be present in various levels, respectively. 1) Dislike of ________ associated with assigned gender It could be all of what Becki mentioned with one's body, gender roles, and expression. This has to do with being dissatisfied with any aspect of your assigned gender. 2) Desire for _________ associated with "opposite" gender This essentially describes what Ryan laid out, in that innate desire to be male. Instead of a "I can't stand what I have" mindset, it's a "I wish I had that" mindset. This could be about body, also expression, and gender roles. But it's outward instead of inward focused. Dysphoria doesn't just mean "I hate my female/male genitals." That is a simple generalization of the very complex issue that is gender dysphoria. To the general question, though. I for one do not understand why anyone would want to transition if they weren't dysphoric. Because if you don't have some kind of dysphoria (prompting you to believe you were trans in the first place) then why the heck would you go through all the bother of transitioning? Doesn't make sense. People with no cancer don't up and decide to get chemo just 'cause they think they feel a bit sick. Of course, levels of dysphoria can vary within and among people. No one need be "trans enough." They just need help according to their personal areas of discomfort and desire. So if the question is, "Am I dysphoric enough to need to transition or can't I cope as I am?" There isn't a simple answer as it depends on the person. And no one has the right to answer that question for someone else.
I don't particularly hate my body, but I'd rather have boobs, a feminine silhouette and not something sticking out from between my legs. You know, the features that would make people accept me as a woman from a biological standpoint. I mean other than the physical necessity of sex, gender and its perception are entirely socially derived. I don't know if that makes total sense to anyone but that's my take.
This is the perfect answer. It's not really the idea of "Is my dysphoria bad enough to want to transition?" because like Kodo said, each person is going to have different experiences. We all experience different amounts of dyphoria about different parts of our bodies and the way we're perceived in society so it's really hard to compare two different people/situations. I've seen guys on youtube who have top surgery and don't take hormones and they're perfectly comfortable with themselves. I've also seen a couple of videos of guys who don't transition at all even though they're trans and experience dysphoria. It's completely up to the person and how they feel is the best way to live their life. I mean, I think that if you're any kind of dysphoric and you're going to be experiencing that dysphoria your entire life then you must have some want to transition and change things. I don't think I could go my life hearing female pronouns, getting dressed in the morning presenting as female, I couldn't do it. Dysphoria itself is a bit of a rollercoaster, some days are better than others and you might not even flinch at being misgendered yet other days it might bring about a breakdown. So measuring 'how often you're okay with yourself' isn't all that valid. I get what you're trying to do and break it down into a condensed question but gender is such a big topic you have to look at the bigger picture to decide something as important as transitioning.
In my case, I don't think my discomfort with my body, gender expression, and gender role made transition necessary. I certainly suffered a lot with a body, appearance, and role that wasn't for me, but I think I could have lived without transitioning. I would be a much, much less fulfilled person today if I hadn't decided to transition, but I think I would still be alive. I think my transition was inevitable though. I suppressed who I was as a young teenager, but by 17 my mask was breaking and I yearned to be myself. By 18 I was considering coming out. Then the catalyst came when I was 19. I think there's no way there wouldn't eventually have been a catalyst to me coming out and transitioning. I think it was inevitable. Transition may not have been necessary exactly, but it was certainly desirable, because I absolutely love the changes to my body, the changes to my gender expression, and my new social role. I'm free to be myself, and that's fucking amazing. I'm not quite sure what you're asking here. I would prefer to present female at all times. In some contexts I do usually present female, and the few times I haven't were very painful. Like at the doctor, nobody misgenders me (except on two painful occasions- but they're taking steps to remedy this), so I'm just myself there, presenting as myself. I'm treated as female. I very much like it that way. Being misgendered is very painful for me, and luckily it doesn't happen nearly as much as it used to. I'm happy with this change, and hope FFS makes getting misgendered a thing of the past, or at least less frequent.
I just go with the flow, so to say. If a desire is strong enough to initiate action and overcome my own inertia, then I let it happen. I'm more on the desire side of transness. I don't have a discomfort, if any, then mild and I can get rid of it easily. Discomfort maybe from unfulfiled desires. But well, transitioning, no. Not me, I mean, I only social I don't ever think "I'd rather have this than what I have". I have abstract desires and they become reality if I don't interfere. It happens to mean I'm on the masculine side.
I like that question a lot. It pretty effectively sums up exactly how I think people should think about transition. I don't think the question is a good way to decide if you're trans or not (I'm not sure you meant it that way anyway) because lots of dysphoric trans people don't want to transition for all sorts of external reasons that could make transition undesirable even if dysphoria is present. Still, it's a critical question that all trans people have to ask themselves.
Hmm, I agree, expression is pretty much redundant. ---------- Post added 17th Mar 2016 at 06:14 PM ---------- Thanks. x No, I didn't mean if you're trans or not, but more like... if you think that you might like to live as the opposite gender but you're not entirely sure.
Yeah I basically settled my thoughts a bit with this question. Sometimes I really get in my head wondering wether I'm trans or not, but at the end of the day, whatever the answer is, I don't think I would be happier if I transitioned.
