Something I wondered if you other trans-guys/gals thought about... When you see a guy/gal that you like/admire/think looks good, does it inspire you or discourage you? I know that if I see a fellow I like, not in an "attracted to" sense necessarily, I am usually inspired. I see him and I think, "Yes, I can be like that one day. Won't that be great?" It gives me hope. But... I can also see and occasionally have felt some discouragement in regard to the present, as I'm not currently able to be "like that" so...
It depends on my mood. Usually though it's discouraging and puts me on a low for a while. I met a transguy that's been 2 years on hormones recently and his voice is deep, his top surgery scars are barely noticeable, he's broad and straight (body wise, not sexuality xD) and it made me feel pretty awful about myself and I end up thinking about how I'll never get to that place.
When I used to have some sense of sexuality a long time ago, I would feel both attraction and jealousy. Even guys who I had a completely obsessive crush on, I still felt the same level of jealousy. It's like I was thinking: "that guy is really really hot, but oh man i wish I was male.... I just want to be male.....be with a male.....just MALE!!!!!!" And it would just grow and grow into an obsessive whirlpool of those conflicting thoughts.... These days the only attraction I have is thinking "he looks nice" and occasionally: "it would be nice to look like him". So I guess that there's just never been a very clear line between those two things. Unfortunately I don't think I'd ever be able to handle being with another guy if I didn't have the same anatomy, or even with a girl if things went that way. Humph:icon_sad:
I find it discouraging because I'm probably not going to get HRT or surgery (it's still in my mind though) so I feel like I have no chance of looking like a cis male. I find it encouraging when I see trans guys or transmasculine people who pass as male and haven't taken those steps though. Then again, I don't know where exactly I fall on the gender spectrum because it stresses me out too much at the moment to think about it, but that's just my experience
It's discouraging to me, because it reminds me that I haven't "hit puberty" yet, and I worry that I'm too old to still look prepubescent, and that I'll never be that tall, or probably ever able to look as good as he does.
None. Got mild envy most of the time, but nothing else. They can't inspire me, because I'm on my 30s now and I know I'll never grow up to be like them. I can try to work on my body, but there are limits I can't overcome. They can't discourage me, because my main goal is not to become them, but the best of myself. We men are all different, come in different sizes and the rest, and I've got this, same as them have their own bodies. Sure I do feel envy, but I know they do as well towards another males.
