Hello everyone. So today I was thinking about my gender more because a lot of people on here experience dysphoria about their body. I have never experienced dysphoria. I sometimes wonder what it would be like with men's part, but other then that, I don't have any. If I was born a man instead or everything about me was a man tomorrow, I wouldn't care. Thinking of that though, I wonder if I would have some female in me. I know there isn't two genders, but I wonder about it. I don't care that I have big breast. I don't care what size they should be. How I look though. I have hated looking female. I have always looked like a tomboy and wish I could dress male. Now that I got my hair cut androgynous, I look more masculine. The past few years I've been buying men's clothes or unisex clothes and I feel good in it. I hate skirts and dresses. Makeup I can't stand. I like people touching my hair because it feels nice. I shave my armpits but not my legs anymore because I don't care. The only reason about my armpits because my deodorant won't work with a lot of hair there so... In my mind, I know I am like 90% male. My personality and interest most of the time lead up to male. I wish people wouldn't think of me much as a female. When I'm called a girl I cringe. I tell myself I'm not a girl. I'm okay with woman. But I can't stand boy or man either. I'm so confused about my mind. I know I want people to call me Niko so badly. I'm scared to tell people. I'm afraid of being judged for it, especially since I have social anxiety disorder. I feel androgyne is my gender, but the things around me make my gender more confusing than it already is. I don't know how I feel. Man and woman aren't me, I know that. How did others know "that's my gender" for sure? Did they doubt themselves? I am confused of mainly the body issue of no dysphoria. I don't care about my body and how it looks in terms of parts. I wish I didn't have as much fat and more muscle, but that's not dysphoria. I'm really confused that's all. Thanks for reading this :icon_bigg.
