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How to deal with hair that I'm "not allowed" to cut?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Kodo, Mar 19, 2016.

  1. Kodo

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    I had short hair once, and I mean really nice masculine short hair. Since I came out, I've been effectively forbidden to get a haircut. That said, my hair is growing out and is a great shaggy mop right above shoulder length now. It makes me progressively more uncomfortable.

    But how to deal with this? I'd preferably not like to upset my parents significantly, because to be honest I cannot deal with them right now... too stressful. That and back when I came out, they rather forced me to "recant" my decision to transition and I (unfortunately) agreed to present female and try to accept it as my fate, and all. Thus me asking for a masculine haircut or dressing in a way that sniffs of male will put me under suspicion.

    Ah yes, and getting it professionally cut without their permission is out of the question as I have neither car nor money.

    I'm at a loss.
     
  2. TheSideKick

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    Aw man that sounds awful, especially if you can't cut it. Have you tried tying it up then using a cap to hide it or maybe using gel to keep it from hanging? Those are the only ways I can think of, but hopefully you'll be able to sort this all out soon (*hug*)
     
  3. CJliving

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    That really sucks. Sorry you're in that situation dude.

    Here are some long men's styles! https://www.google.co.jp/search?q=long+hair+men%27s&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiG2dzfos7LAhWGp5QKHdA4A4AQ_AUIBygB&biw=1365&bih=697

    The other thing maybe you could get away with is an undercut? If you've got a friend with a razor you could maybe shave underneath, leave it long on top. Then when you're home you just wear it down and your parents won't be able to tell. And when you're out, wear it up in like a man bun or something? It's a little bit of an extreme/risky idea but could work?

    Good luck!
     
  4. AngelDragonfly

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    Have you thought of using a wig or baseball cap? Or tying it up and adding a hat? Either would work. I wish you the best and hope you have a great day and eventually figure it out with your parents :frowning2: The deal with your 'rents does not sound good, so best wishes! Best of luck! (*hug*):smilewave
     
  5. lawlight

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    *wince* I feel your pain, bro.
    I'll second the above replies with the hat idea. You could also try a low ponytail. As long as the rest of your presentation is sufficiently masculine, it might work. (works for me, kinda)

    I wish you luck on negotiating with your parents!
     
  6. cakepiecookie

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    Oh man, I'm so sorry your parents put you in that position. :frowning2:

    I'd try to focus on the fact that a lot of guys have long hair. I realise that it may be hard to frame it that way when you're already struggling to find ways to express your gender, but having long hair isn't necessarily "feminine".

    Can you find a picture of a woman with a long but masculine hairstyle and have it cut like that? You could probably style a shaggy bob with shorter pieces at the front to look masculine.
     
  7. Kodo

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    Thank you guys for the suggestions.

    I think what I'll do is not let it grow past shoulder length, when it does get there I'll cut it layered. But anyway I've found some sufficient manly ways to tie up hair in a knot/bun, which in a way makes me look like a Samurai (as my little bro pointed out, haha).

    So long as its tied up, it doesn't bother me as badly and I am reminded that one can still be masculine whilst having long hair.