Lately I've been feeling really anxious about shifting to masculinity. Like, I might get "stuck" there and not be able to get back to feminine or neutral. I don't really want to be stuck anywhere. Is it normal to feel nervous about that?
I think it has to be normal, to some degree. I mean, I'm full on FTM, and I worry about that--shifting too much into "male Max," and maybe losing or suppressing some of my more feminine or neutral features. Yeah, I want to live full time as a man, but that doesn't mean I want to be this macho dude that isn't really me. Also, my roommate is genderfluid--and she's expressed discontent lately with getting so stuck in femininity for so long. I think your concern is probably one shared by a lot of people. Just make sure to be true to yourself and how you're feeling, and how YOU want to present (external pressures suck to deal with). If you get "stuck" for a little while, that doesn't mean you can't EVER get back. The whole spectrum of your gender is a part of you, and you don't need to worry about totally losing yourself.
I guess it's normal. I've been there a couple of months ago. I started presenting more masculine and suddenly I thought I want to bind, and freaked out. But... nothing happened so far. I even began enjoying femme clothing, which is very bizzare as for me. I guess that "I want to bind" needed to be let out and seen by me. I was afraid that I might end up getting top dysphoria and having to bind all the time. But nothing like that happened. Someone told me a good thing: you can't get stuck in something you don't genuinely feel. So don't worry about that.
It's normal to be nervous about transitioning all at once which is why most people will wean their way into transitioning. Most people won't just go from super feminine one day to a full blown guy the next. They tend to try things out and find what they like before they get "stuck" with it. So, just take it one step at a time and see what you like before you fully commit to always doing it. You're so strong. Keep going.
Well, but that's what I'd like to do. I'd like to be able to have it be fine for me to leave work Thursday as a girl and show up Friday morning with a beard, and then on Monday be something else, and just have it be a day-by-day thing where everyone knows I'm still just me and I still can do anything I could do before, I'm just more inclined to variation than most people... I don't know if that'll ever be accepted, at least, within my lifetime. People aren't going to like that. And if it can't ever be that way, then maybe I'll have to "stick" somewhere, for practicality.... But I'm not happy about that possibility at all. Oh, that is a very good thing. Whoever told you that thing has their things in order. Thank you. You have a lot of very, very good advice in here. I need to learn to take good advice. I get really nervous about the reactions of people around me, and even people who have yet to be around me, like the potential employer who might fire me for what he considers "unprofessional" behavior just because I don't "pick one and stick to it." And I can't be sure that I'll live somewhere where there's anything I can do about it. But, see, that's all stress about something that hasn't even been a possibility yet. And lastly.... I really love the phrasing of "The whole spectrum of your gender is a part of you." It's so reassuring, for some reason. I guess just because it's such an apt description.
