Gender issues make me feel so unmotivated

I can't help you on the gender issues you face because I have never had to deal with them. (I am cis-male)

What I can tell you is that I find androgyny to be very attractive. There are many people out their like me, so please don't let your spirits get down. The good news is that you don't have to go through so many relationships to find someone who is open minded like cis-gender people who have to shuffle through the lower life-form hating bigots... Someone who is interested in you is more than likely going to be a nice, open minded person like yourself. (regardless of what gender they are.)

Keep being yourself and someone special will come along (*hug*)

 

Hello fellow androgyne . I haven't found a lot of androgynes on here (I think I found one more, maybe two), so it's nice to see you .

That's good you are on testosterone. I naturally have high testosterone and low estrogen so I kinda have a masculine look. I haven't grown hair and don't plan on it so I look more androgynous.

I speak some gender, and it's kinda sucky that Sie means she and they in German (and you also) so if you go by Sie, they'll think you mean she and not they. You could use Es kinda? In terms of German, I know a limited amount so but I understand what you mean.

I'm sorry you've had bathroom problems. I haven't yet, but maybe people are wondering in their heads or I look more feminine to them when I try to look more masculine.

I'm sorry people bullied you about presentation. I wish people would understand how you look doesn't mean anything whatsoever. I know A-levels mean a lot up there (I'm from Canada, so different school system), so I'm sorry about that.

No one but my siblings have questioned my gender, but I have always wore more masculine stuff. I wear no makeup, which is what is considered "normal" in my society; for guys to not wear makeup. I'm not saying they can't, but many don't.

And I get how you feel. I am nor man or woman, though I am not a 50/50 androgyne. I'm a 60/40 man/woman androgyne. That's where I feel most comfortable.

It's good that you want to be a personal trainer. Exercising will help you get an even more androgynous look by working arms especially.

I know the world sucks. Luckily my school is good and no one has questioned me yet. Though one of my good friends is probably wondering because in one of my classes, the teacher always uses gender as two options, and I am not male and female, but I say female because that's the gender I was assigned. Well, she's probably wondering because I always ask why he uses that as an example because some people aren't male or female.

My advice is this: society sucks for non-binary people. That you can't do anything about. People are also rude and don't think what they say are hurting others (you). What you should do is continue to be yourself. Your self worth shouldn't depend on how others view you. You need to not worry about others and what they think of your gender. I have the need to so desperately correct people, but I don't. You do feel social dysphoria? If you do, that is probably one of the problems. People not calling you the right pronouns or by your name. If someone is going to ask me my gender, my answer is going to be: does it matter, because why should it matter what gender I am? Are you going to treat me differently if I say one gender compared to another? If you actually want to know, ask me what pronouns I want to know. Don't ask my gender, because in my opinion, it's kinda offensive. Well, mainly if they laugh about what gender you actually are.

So continue to be you. If the people you are close to know your gender, you should be set. Coming out is the hardest thing, but you seem to have come out to your friend, so that's a start. I want to come out, but I don't feel comfortable yet.

My name is Niko, by the way . If you have any other questions, just ask me . I will try to help, but I'm no expert.

I wish you the best .

 

I won't tell you to get a shrink because really that's not my place. But I will tell you that you may not want to give up on shrinks entirely. Just like your GP, some of them are surprisingly awesome. I'm also struggling with my identity right now. All I want, literally the only thing I want is to be out of the closet about my gender and all the things it does, and have that be just fine. Just, normal. Not additional attention, just acceptance

I'm afraid I can't give you advice on how to handle it. I just don't know, it's an uphill struggle and I don't have the experience to help you, yet. I just wanted to let you know that I'm in the same boat. (*hug*)

 

Sorry. I'm not super familiar with Autrian culture. I'm sorry they picked on you for that . That's mean of them. I don't know what else to do.

I'm sorry. It's nice to meet you too .

 

That's the perfect way of thinking about it... I wish I had a built in spam filter when looking for friends and partners.

One thing that has stuck with me is a quote I heard growing up: (paraphrasing because I can't remember the exact verbiage)

"Perspective is your personal reality; If you choose to view everything in a negative perspective, it will be negative..But if you choose to look on the bright side, your reality will be positive."