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Siblings making fun of me for gender stuff

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Nike007, Mar 28, 2016.

  1. Nike007

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    Hello. So I have been trying to limit on gender stuff. Like, I consider myself a masculine androgyne (if that makes sense to people). So I wanted to go shopping for new shirts, and I generally like the men's section and not the female's one because they have cooler designs and darker clothing and stuff. But my siblings find it so hilarious that I like men's stuff and why don't I shop for woman's stuff because I'm a girl. I'm not a girl, they just don't know that. My dad said he doesn't care as long as I wear it (which I will).

    And another thing. So my siblings convinced me to get an Instagram (I don't care btw), and they only have three genders: male, female, and not specified. I chose not specified because I don't want people to assume what gender I am, along with it not being male or female. And my siblings find this funny too, because they said I don't look masculine and people would know I'm feminine and that hurt my feelings. Not that I said anything though.

    I also bought a dog tag with the name I want to be called on it (Niko) and my siblings are like "why does it say Niko (nick-o)" when it's actually pronounced nee-ko. They are mocking my name. They are telling me no one calls me that, because I haven't came out to anyone yet because of extreme anxiety. That's why I can't come out to my siblings because they'll make fun of me.

    Siblings... Any ideas on what to do?
     
  2. Aberrance

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    About shopping in men's. You just have to be confident and go in there yourself. Pick out things you like and wear them with pride. Clothes aren't gendered anyway. You wear what you want. Yeah they might make comments but you're going to be comfortable with what you're wearing and its going to make you feel better about yourself.

    With the other two problems, honestly I think that until you come out to them you're going to get comments because they won't understand how it makes you feel. You might be surprised at how they take it. I came out to a close friend last night who is a lot like your siblings, hes been shopping with me and also dragged me to the women's section and makes jokes like "why do you try so hard to be a guy" etc. And after I told him it was more of an acceptance and 'that makes sense' kind of reacyion.

    If you pull together a bunch of resources about being androgyne and make sure that you're very direct with how you feel and make sure they know how it affects you when they make those kinds of comments then I'm sure it'll go reasonably okay. Yes it might take them time to get their heads around it and get used to it but they shouldn't make fun of you. If they know how theyre making you feel and they persistently do it thats classed as bullying, family or not. That's not on. Theyre probably making all these comments because they're confused about what's going on with you. Obviously a lot is changing and they don't understand. You have to try and make them understand if you want them to stop.
     
  3. Nike007

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    Thanks Isaac. I just went with my family because my dad pays for it.

    I am working on coming out to my friends because I think it'll be the easiest. I have a plan and everything in mind. To my siblings, I don't want my mom or dad to know and I don't want them to tell my parents. Thanks for the advice :slight_smile:.
     
  4. lnamae

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    You might be able to say something to your siblings without coming out, but in a way that might encourage them to be a little more sensitive and understanding?

    Like if you say something like "I don't really care about the expectations of other people about gender, I just like wearing what I like and being who I am. I don't want to let other people say what I should or shouldn't like or who I should be and those expectations make me feel uncomfortable, because it makes me feel fake and uhappy" or something, those are sentiments that could even be said by cis people so that's not really out-ing? Maybe there are some more things you could say along the lines of that that are more accurate for your own experience, and have a talk with them?

    I shop in the mens section too all the time. The clothes are much more comfy and nice to me too :icon_bigg
     
    #4 lnamae, Mar 29, 2016
    Last edited: Mar 29, 2016