1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Using A New Name

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Lacybi, Mar 31, 2016.

  1. Lacybi

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2015
    Messages:
    483
    Likes Received:
    36
    Location:
    Ireland
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I originally asked people to call me by my middle name - Hope - but no one did. The next time I came out to people (about four months later) I asked to be called Seth, a few people did this time. The problem is that I get really embarrassed whenever someone other than one of my friends calls me Seth or Hope. I've been sort of going by Seth for two months now and I'm thinking about changing to Alexander - Lex for short - but I'm really worried that I'm changing my name too often. Is it usual to get embarrassed by your preferred (well ish) name?
     
  2. randomconnorcon

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 27, 2015
    Messages:
    550
    Likes Received:
    28
    Location:
    Liverpool, England
    It takes time getting used to and it's not something some people feel comfortable explaining around people you don't know, so getting embarrassed is pretty normal. I spent this morning in distress over what name to put on my cousin's birthday card and I've been out for three months, using the name for almost a year.

    As for changing your name too often. It can also take time finding the one that is perfect for you. The name I mentioned using for almost a year is Connor. Now I'm about 80% certain (and rising) about changing (and sticking) to CiarĂ¡n. I don't recommend changing your name constantly for the rest of your life, but between now and the time you decide to make a name yours legally (if you choose to) no one gets a say in how often you change it. It's your name and pretty much the one thing you can always control. So why not keep looking for the perfect one for you?
     
  3. darkcomesoon

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 17, 2014
    Messages:
    1,359
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    New Jersey
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I chose my name about a bit over two years ago and even the friends that call me by he/him pronouns don't know my name is Jesse yet because it makes me self conscious and nervous. It's not because it's not my name, but because somehow it feels exceptionally personal to tell them; it's more nerve-wracking than actually coming out was. If you think the name Seth Hope fits you and it feels like your name when you use it for yourself, I wouldn't worry about it. It takes time to get used to having other people use it too.

    If you don't think it fits quite right and you do want to change it, don't worry about it. You're really early in your transition. You're allowed to change your mind as many times as you need.
     
  4. Ghostling

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2015
    Messages:
    169
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    California
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Ahh, I'm going through this right now too. But honestly, just don't apologize. That's the easiest way to do it.

    Plenty of people change their names for reasons other than being trans. People change their names all the time, there's nothing wrong with that. Names are just dumb things we call each other. That's ok. Your comfort is so much more important than any annoyance this process is to others. Take charge, let the people around you know that this is your (new) name and that that is what you'll be called by them. It's okay to do that. Again, your comfort is more important than others being slightly inconvenienced.

    Being embarrassed is ok. Names are intimate personal looks into the lives of those who choose them. It's a representation of who we are as people, and it's okay to be a little shy about sharing that with the world. It's okay to have concerns and emotions regarding this kinda stuff. (And Lex is a great nickname!)