Feeling like your sexuality invalidates your gender?

I'm kind of the same. My sexual and romantic attraction is very fluid; like sometimes I'm all about people, I wanna be with them and hold them and shit like that, and sometimes it boggles my mind why or how people feel such things for other humans because I don't know what it is and I don't want it, and sometimes I have preferences. In terms of preferences, I think I gravitate towards the male side of gender identity and/or expression a bit more then the female side. It's all very confusing and I just say I'm queer now because that's the only word that makes sense to me.

But it does suck when it messes with my social life. My gender and sexuality have always been confusing for people, like they can't fit me in a box so they don't know what to do with me. And that, in turn, makes me feel like I can't really be myself because maybe they won't like me unless I lie and be in their box. And I don't really like to lie, so I usually end up being more reserved or I don't go at all. I also really hate when I do something that people view as feminine; fortunately I have good friends and family of all genders who are equally affectionate, so when the mood strikes, I can join in on the hugs. So I try to surround myself with those people; that helps with the thoughts of how people view me, because I don't care so much about the others when I know there are good ones around who tell me I'm a hot as fuck man and they want whatever it is that I think makes me feel not so manly.

I think, like what came up in my thread, we need distractions mostly. Good things. Because we're in the same boat and it's a waiting game; I think these thoughts are part of it. We can surround ourselves with good people and become a little better at finding positives, until the things we want become a reality.

I hope this helps at all and you find a way to feel better. You know where I am if you ever wanna talk or vent or something.

 

Yeah, I feel ya, my friend.
As a teen I thought I couldn't be trans because I was attracted to men. Sometimes I feel it would be easier for me to be trans if I was attracted to women, maybe I would feel more masculine then as well.

But hey, I'm a trans gay man and I wouldn't change it for the world.

 

Hello. Sometimes, I feel weird about my gender when it comes to sexual orientation. I know the two are different, but sometimes I am like "I feel more masculine, so why am I attracted to men more?" I say I am androsexual, but I am kinda curious about females. Not a lot, just curious. Bur I feel that I am androgyne, and though more male, I can still like men. It's not wrong to like people that aren't your gender, or like, I still feel like a female when I like a male, though I know that's not me on the inside. But I get confused if I am just a tomboy or actually an androgyne. It's hard for me to know, but... Anyways, I'm going off topic. Sorry. I understand your frustration though.