A few weeks ago I read a book called symptoms of being human, it's a great book about a genderfluid teenager, I won't go into the book in this post, maybe I'll do a review on my blog later, but the book made me think about my own gender. After some thought I pushed the idea away, to be honest I already like girls when I was born a girl and I don't want to be any more different, it scares me. But it also scares me to not look into this if it might be part my identity. So. I think I might be genderfluid. I don't always feel like what society calls a girl. Some days I feel more like a boy, or in between. Some days I wish I could chop my hair off and other days I wish it was long and pretty again, some days I feel more comfortable in heels and a dress and other days if my mother makes me wear those things I feel suffocated, and then there are days where I just want to present as inbetween. Idek I feel like an attention whore right now and I want to completely deny that I might not be cis, but pushing this aside wont make it go away. Please tell me what you think on this.
First: Reading about things like that can bring your empathy to a peak, sometimes to such an extent that we identify with what we read without having done so before. Did you do that before? If your gendered feelings change, or 'flow' with time, you might be genderfluid or non-binary in some other way. But you can still just be a girl. How to know? Well, that's hard. But if I can give you a piece of advice; no matter what gender you are, you can express yourself in any way you like. Maybe you can try dressing/expressing yourself boyish or more neutral sometime and see how you feel? How do you feel about pronouns, btw? Does people calling you "she" bother you? I had an AFAB genderfluid friends who wanted different pronouns on different days. In the end the most effective question to ask yourself, is; "Okay, I'm expressing myself like this right now. How much me is this?"
Invidia thank you so much <3 I'm really happy someone replied and thank you so much for putting the time and effort into it, your reply was a great help I'll follow your advice <3
