So I'm going to come out sometime in the next year, and I was wondering how soon afterwards I should pursue hormones. I am really worried about the way my mom will take the news, and I've actually debated not telling her and just doing my thing without hormones until she notices something's up and asks. If my mom wasn't a factor I'd go after them as soon as I was 18 and could afford it. Give me some advice. What did you do? What should I do? (&&&)
not gonna reccomend this but you could anomie sly order stuff offline and have it delivered somewhere your mom won't find it if your not ready to come out
I feel similarly about telling my dad - sister knows and is very supportive, but I wasn't sure about my dad, so I kept dropping little hints and stuff. Just bringing it up in conversation casually, in different contexts. Dressing more masculine. He didn't really notice anything, but then when I cut my long hair short, he told me he didn't like it, and my sister informed me that he said that he's old-fashioned and that "girls have long hair and boys have short hair." At least I tested the waters. So yeah friend, I say test out what you think your mom will think, and go from there. In terms of hormones, it depends on how badly you want/need them. Some people never pursue them, and some people wait a bit before, and some people go for them right away after coming out. Ultimately whatever you feel comfortable with, my friend.
I would not recommend doing this. There are a lot of things that can go wrong when you are on hormones, so it is important to take them with a doctor monitoring you in case anything comes up. Also, you would not know how reliable those hormones are. They could just be come random compound instead of T. Also, it is illegal to have T without a script, since it is a controlled substance.
I'm going to jump on the "this is a bad idea" train. I know Nobo said they wouldn't recommend it and BradTheCat had solid reasons why it could go really shitty for you, I'm going to give free legal advice which doesn't form an attorney-client relationship between you and me, since I'm not licensed to practice in MS (but I am in CO and TX and all military trial courts worldwide): It's an eff'ing terrible idea. Besides the possible serious life-threatening conditions that can occur from using street T with the care of a physician monitoring you, as a criminal defense attorney, I would advise you that if you were caught in possession of T without a prescription - prepare to go to jail. And in the ever-so-liberal Mississippi, where I lived for 10 years, prepare for getting royally screwed with a conviction that will haunt you for the rest of your life. So not worth it, it's not even funny. If Nobo was suggesting ordering something other than hormones, such as a binder or other nonmedical items, my bust for using my "jump to conclusions mat."
I came right out and told my Mom "look, I'm not supposed to be a guy. I want to start over as the real me" and then gave her a big hug crying. Though I was 27 at the time and had a suicidal track record throughout the years, so she didn't have much say in the matter. My advice would be get as much info as possible together about transitioning and tell her how much you need this. Worst case is she'll say no, but when you turn 18 you can get a job and do it regardless of her consent then. Waiting only makes things worse. And who knows, she may surprise you. As it stands you're only doing more damage by leaving things in the unknown and letting the wrong hormones take their toll. The longer you stay living a lie the harder it is for people around you to accept the truth.
Damn, I knew I shouldn't have used that Jump to Conclusions mat again. Always gets me in trouble. :icon_wink Thanks for the clarification, Nobo, and sorry that Brad and I jumped on your post so hard. Better safe than sorry?
I think you should see how your mom reacts and talk about it with her. If she takes it alright but says she'd like time to get used to it before you go on T, talk with her and figure out an amount of time that works for both of you. Try to be patient and compromise, but also don't let her push you to wait longer than you want to. If she takes it poorly, she's probably not worth waiting for, and you should go ahead and pursue hormones as soon as you want. It's not worth waiting when you don't know how long it'll take her to be okay with it, or if she ever will. I would definitely recommend coming out to her if you can (and not just going on hormones and waiting for her to find out). She's more likely to take it well if she feels like you respected her enough to tell her ahead of time.
Are you talking about buying hormones online? If you are, that's not a good idea. That's actually very illegal, since testosterone is a controlled substance and you could get in serious trouble with the law if you get caught--even if you don't intend on using them.
