Hi! Is there anyone on the trans* spectrum who has/will be changing their name to something more comfortable? Do you have any advice? (I'm genderqueer and I have changed my names some times. I'd like to change it to something more meaningful and comfortable to me that doesn't count as a nickname.) sort of like: (not true info) Original name: Alex Questioning name: Al Comfortable name: Ace Thanks in advance!
Look into how much it'd cost and what the requirements are to do so for your area. Mine was $450 and required I advertise in a paper for a month, then go in front of a judge and be granted documentation of my name change. I'm not sure how it works in London though.
Wow, thanks for the reply! Also... wow, that is a shit ton of money. If it's alright to ask, did you change your name to people close to you first? That's probably how far I would be able to go at the moment. If so, how did it go? As in, were people able to use your more comfortable name after a while? (No pressure to reply, thanks again!)
Yeah, in the U.S., changing your legal name is quite the hassle. I'm in the process right now - fingerprinting, FBI & Colorado Bureau of Invest. criminal background check, then court filings, then newspaper publication for 21 days, then court order, then different state for birth certificate and gender marker, along with my bar association, college degrees, law firm name, yada yada yada. Really, really big hassle. 100% worth it. In the U.K., it seems to be quite easier. I found this from a quick Google search: Code: There's no legal way to change your name - you simply start using a new name. However, if you want to use your new name on documents like passports and driving licences, you'll need to get evidence of your new name. The best way to do this is by [URL="https://www.gov.uk/change-name-deed-poll/make-an-adult-deed-poll"]making a deed poll[/URL]. Source. I'm super jealous right now. ---------- Post added 9th Apr 2016 at 11:50 PM ---------- Yeah, my friends and family who I am out to already call me Emma. Everyone is super-supportive but occasionally slip-up and call me by my dude-name, but not a big deal grand scheme of things. The good intent is there, just a long habit of calling me by a name that doesn't fit anymore.
I changed it for everyone when I came out. I hated my dead name and wanted it buried as quickly as possible; so I pushed to get everything legal changed like my drivers license, social security card, school records...pretty much everything I could. The only thing I can't change is my birth certificate, which in my state requires lower surgery. And people were very resistant at first, so I had to constantly correct people. It got to the point where I'd say "he's dead. You're speaking to Vanessa" anytime they'd mention my dead name. Almost everyone I know uses it now, except for a few conservative family members who don't agree with "my choice" and dead name/mispronoun just to spite me. My advice is be easy at first, but don't let it slide. If you let it slide all the time people won't put any effort into fixing it. And if they're months in still doing it even after corrections then you have to be firm, or even to the point of rude to get the point across. I got to the point with my father where I'd refuse to acknowledge him talking to me until he called me Vanessa. It's an adjustment for everyone, but if someone respects you they will make the effort to adjust. It may take time and you tolerating it, but those that care about you and your feelings eventually will.
Right now, most people call me by my last name because it's a nice gender neutral nickname for me, and my girlfriend and immediate family call me Jesse, which is my chosen name. It was easy for my girlfriend to make the switch (I told her after only a couple months of dating, so it wasn't like she'd known me for years with a different name) and my brother switched pretty easily too (he's 26; young adults, teens, and kids tend to have a much easier time changing the name/pronouns they use for someone). My parents took some time and still mess up fairly often, but it's not even been quite a year yet and they have to call me by my birth name to most people, so it makes it harder for them to get used to. I'd definitely recommend telling some people you're close to first and then telling more and more people as time goes on. It takes some time for people to get really used to it, but they'll definitely catch on to using your preferred name.
To change it legally you have to go through deed poll it costs at most about £36 but I think and you can use forms like these (which are the free versions and just as legit as the one that you pay for). However if you're under 18 you might need to apply for a court order if you can't be backed by everyone who holds parental responsibility for you which is a lot more expensive (upwards of £200). If both of your parents are good with it and sign the forms though then you won't need to pay that. I'm not really sure how all of that works but you might find these links useful. Changing Your Child's Name By Deed Poll | UK Deed Poll https://www.gov.uk/change-name-deed-poll/change-a-childs-name Actually I've just found this https://deedpolloffice.com/advice/young-people which states that if you're over 16 you don't need any parental consent and just have to go through the same stages as the adult deed poll. Wow I'm confused now, sorry! It's just a case of searching around and finding the legit sites and information.
I once knew a gal named Johnny Rose or Alex Rose or some other. You can always mix something feminine and masculine together.
