I jusr feel like breaking all the mirrors i see because i do not know who is looking back at me. I feel like crying and falling apart. I thought i did not need help with figuring out myself, but i am at a point where i feel as though i feel weak. I dont know if im strong enough to figure out my gender by myself anymore. I want to look in the mirror again, but i dont know how. For the first time, i feel scared about myself and the repercussions. I tried to talk to my mom, but it lead nowhere. However, she is the one who has my back. Goid news, i am meeting with a therapist, but i dont know how effective it will be. How can i look in my mirror again?
You look into the mirror and tell it: "I'll show you, you piece of shit." Come back later when you've figured stuff out and tell that motherfucker who's the boss.
Try smiling even when you don't feel like it--I think it makes anyone looks more beautiful and authentic. I get those days, too, trust me, when I'm confused, but you're beautiful just the way you are. Let it shine through. People will know if you're not confident, and you just gonna put on that display of confidence and they'll get it.
Take the time to be angry, it is part of the human condition. But do not let that anger consume you. Let it drive you to seek out who you are. And even if you do not know where to start with that, that is fine. If you do not know where to start at least try to treat your body right; exercise regularly and try not to over-indulge too much. I used to be where you are now...furious over my reflection. I am still a little peeved but not full-tilt angry. The problem with being angry for too long is that you don't know where the anger ends and you begin, or vice-verse. When that happens it starts to affect your relationships with other people. I have been living with my flat-mate for long enough that we both know when the other is angry before the other does. Even if it just one person, that is a support network. Talk to your best friend and be one hundred percent transparent about everything. If they are truly loving they will be there for you, offer advice and do their best to make you happy.