Currently I'm a tomboy. I've always been. I played with toys for boys, my friends were mostly boys, I hate pink, so I'm a bit of a clichee for a teenage boy. I wanted to join the army so bad, but sadly I'm too thin and can't gain weight no matter what I eat. I always wanted a deeper voice (which I partualy got due to smoking and I made it a bit raspy with a special diet). I'll write more later. So, mostly my idea is, that I would be better of as a man, but I feel like I'm not in pain or so and might aswell live my life as the tomboy-self I've always been.
You don't need to be in pain to be trans, and you don't have to transition to be trans. You don't have to want to be giggly or like pink or girl toys to be a girl either. With what you identify is up to you. It, honestly, may take a lot of soul-searching to find out your gender.
Sometimes it feels like I don't even want one. If I could imediately tranition and libe like a man for 3 years or so I'd try it out, but the idea of never having this experience pisses me off really. I'll try living more boyish, as it feels much better. Since yesterday I use male perfume and shampoo (parents don't care, so that's good) and I feel much better. The outside of mans shampoo is far more appealing to me and so is the smell. It kinda frustrates me that it's seen so normal that having two X chromosomes means you have to smell like fruit in a pink/purple/white bottle.
I can empathise with you, I hate those fruite parfumes. Oriental and herbal ones are quite cool though Mmm cologne... Well, If you want to transition, I guess it's enough to do it. Remember that there is no one single correct way to do it.
Yeah but it would feel wrong to decide it that fast. I know that I want some changes to take place now. I think the next logical step for me would be to get some boxershorts. Get testosteron boosters online and try to build some muscle. I always wanted defined muscels and wider shoulders, do you know how I might achieve that with training?
Take your time. It's perfectly okey to do so. Transition all at once might be overwhelming and it's seriously not possible to do it all at once, it's better to do what you do, to cut it into pieces, so don't worry about that. You're doing great Uuum, normal push-ups and biking a lot worked for me, but your miliage may vary... I've heard people excersice with dumbbells too, to have muscle on arms. Generally, do sports, and do something about arms. There's an extra plus if you do a sport you find fun. Swimming is supposedly good too, but I'm personally not a fan of swimming pools. As for defined muscles... Also trying to avoid sweets etc might help.
Testosterone is not a magical body building agent. I mean, it flows in my body for sure and Im skinny and far from muscular. It only makes it easier - like, anyone "on T", be it naturally for being amab, or for undergoing hrt, builds more muscle faster. So... gym and determination, lol. Surely you can get good results without hrt. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5lLdJZnr1I notice, though, that she is working out really hard to get there. Also, how muscles are promnounced depends not only on sheer muscle mass but also how much fat you have, water content in your body... however, heavy workout almost always makes the chest flatter in women, so that might be something you would like, too.
It takes a lot of time to figure out who you are. This is in regards to gender as well. I know I am completely unsure where I stand. Sometimes I feel really feminine and "girly" and other times I'm not. The only thing that I know for sure right now is that I definitely do not conform to the Cis Male gender. It takes time to figure everything out
My problem with building muscle mass is that I can't gain weight no matter what. I'm too thin that's also the reason why I can't join the army I like my breasts they're as good as any girl could wish for. Still as I improvised binding them I somehow liked it better. As a child I once said that I never wanted breasts but I guess I got used to it. Got a new hairstyle by the way, more masculine, like Sid Vicious. Had short hair before anyway but it looks cool on me ^^
Gained some weight, yeah ^^ Guess I can start training soon, first day with a better diet. Hopefully reach 50 kg within one or two weeks.
