Does anyone else feel really ungrateful after people buy them new clothes? My mum bought me two new swimsuits and some underwear and I feel really really ungrateful because I don't want them! My mum bought boy shorts style underwear for me, obviously because I'd bought boxer shorts last time I went shopping with my friend and she'd said that I could buy women's ones the same but without the hole at the front. I didn't buy them because I particularly wanted boxer shorts, I bought them because they're boys underwear! There's nothing wrong with what she bought except for the fact that they're WOMENS underwear and I feel really ungrateful because Mum was trying to do something nice for me and I don't want them. Please tell me I'm not alone?
Womens, men's, never mind. My mom still buys me very cutesy clothes I do not fancy. Lacy, be yourself. If you are a boy, you are a boy even in women's underwear. Maybe it's hard to understand it in the very beginning. Clothes have no gender. You do not need to buy boys' everything to be a boy. Do you like the shorts? Do you like the cut, the color?
I'm not trying to buy boys everything; I like the secret knowledge that my clothes (whatever item it may be, but usually one of three items of underwear since most of my clothes are "women's") that I'm not wearing women's clothes. Also, there is nothing particularly wrong with what my mum bought - they're even blue - but they're made for women and flowery. One has buttons on the front as if to fasten it but it's just decorative which I find ridiculous. They're also designed to suit curves that I don't want and end well below the waistband of my trousers. I like men's clothing because (a) it's comfortable and (b) it's practical and devoid of any frills or decorative bits.
You're not alone. Thankfully - or sadly, depending on how you look at it - I get less and less clothes bought for me every year, because they were noticing that I didn't wear the clothes from the women's section but I they didn't want to be me clothes I wanted either. If they buy me clothes, it's because Harry Potter is on it. They're safe with Harry Potter.
So it's not that it's women's underwear being the issue , but that it's flowery, impractical, and wrong shape, is it? Or is it that they are made for women?
For me, it's because of how they saw me. How they still sometimes see me. I must have clothes from the 'women's section' because they are for women and I am a woman. Buying clothes from the 'men's section' is like taking a stand, saying no I'm a guy and I want guy clothes. If they're going to hit me with societal bullshit about how there are two genders and clothes are separated, I might as well use it to my advantage.
It's hard not to be bothered by the classification of clothes, especially when you know people wouldn't give you those things if you were born male. I went shopping for boots with my mom a few months ago. I was looking in the men's section and she told me I could also look in the women's and just look for a more gender neutral pair. I know she was just trying to be helpful and it wasn't even a bad suggestion, but it annoyed me because I know she would never say that to my brother. Most men wouldn't look in the women's section to save their lives.
I feel lucky that my family stopped buying me clothes long ago and now just give me money to buy what I want. The only exception being when they are out of town and buy me a tee-shirt from the gift shop. But I do have this one time where my grandma took me to buy pants and she kept trying to get me to buy these jeans that were made to show curves and had this flower design going up the sign. I didn't know I was trans at the time but even the thought of wearing those just made me say "NO!" Loudly. And it lead to this argument. And I legit still feel like an asshole even years later. At the time we had just moved in with my mom and she didn't have money to buy us new clothes, and my dad's family waited a year before sending any of our things over*. So my grandmother was trying to be nice and help me not get picked on by some teens who noticed I only had three pair of pants and my shoes came from Walmart. And I just had a melt down about the jeans being to feminine. I hurt her feelings and I'm such an asshole for that. I should of just sucked it up. * (long story there but basically dad goes to jail, his parents blame us and disown us and made such a shit storm of it that courts put up a temporary restraining order, so family dragged their feet at sending us the things we needed like medication and clothes)
hey lacy, just to note, and try to make u feel better about this. not all male underwear have the hole in front. I buy 'male' underwear but it has a 'feminine' look to them i hope this helps.
Thanks for assuring me that I'm not alone, I also think that I was a boy over emotional because I was very sleep deprived (camping with the girl guides doesn't lead to much sleep). As a side note, my name is not Lacy, it's Lex. Lacybi (lassie-bee) is my birth name in my friend and I's made up language but it's mine so that's why I use it.
