So, I was born the female sex, but never really felt as if I was a "girl." To be honest, I have suspicians of being gender fluid, but i'm not sure yet. Mostly, I dress like a girl, but not a "girly-girl," but I want more than that. I don't want to look like a straight up guy, at least not all the time. I want to be one of those people that no one can tell "what you are" just by looking at you. I can't tell if I'm just really practical with clothes or if I want to look a certain way. Early on, I decided I would not wear dresses or skirts because they were useless and I wanted to play on the monkey bars. I disliked bright pink and loathed lace. My sister was practically the exact opposite. There were times I just wanted a boy's cut clothing, not just boyish clothes. Boy clothes made for boys. My parents were usually at their wits end whenever we went clothes-shopping. It wasn't that I hated "girly" clothes, it was more of how limiting it is! Thick cargo pants in the boy's section and skinny jeans in the girl's section both look great to me! I skimped on shaving my legs. There were all sorts of positives and negatives to shaving my legs, but mostly it was tedious and time consuming. I still don't shave them when I know I'm going to wear pants. I gaged at perfume. I sucked in the kitchen and my table manners resemble my brother. I like to cross my legs like a boy There are a lot of other things, but mostly, I can't find myself to conform to girl or boy completely. I still think of myself not being the same gender as my sister. At this point I have figured out that I don't want to be a girl or a boy. But there are a few times I really did like dresses (I look good). But sometimes I just want to bind my chest, put on a sweatshirt, and run. I'm just really confused on what I want and what I should do. Help?
Gender expression (such as preferred colours, clothing, mannerisms, hobbies) don't decide your gender identity. If you want to bind your chest and run, if it's possible, you could buy a sports bra which is more comfortable for running in and compresses the chest slightly. Gender dysphoria is physical, social and emotional . Perhaps you could write about how you feel towards your physical body, name, pronouns and identity label which might give a more clear indicator. Also, nobody can ultimately tell you what your gender identity is, but we can help. Hope this helps.
I feel similarly and always have. Threw fits over dresses. Hated pink. I used to try and convince people I was a boy when I was little - I told them my penis was invisible. I want to look more boyish. I loooove mens clothes and always have obsessed ove them. I only shave my legs when I'm wearing shorts. I spend more time in the mens section of perfume shops than womens. I do not eat like a lady. I cross my legs like a man. I've always been an enthusiast of violent video games. I like to playfight. I don't relate to most things girls like. Sometimes, when I'm home alone, I try to dress up like a 60s mod dude just for fun. And sometimes I wish my boobs weren't in the way. I've even imagined my life as a man. HOWEVER I am cis. As Secret5 said. None of this has anything to do with being trans. I feel no dysphoria, in fact, although I know I am very boyish, and I think about this sometimes (mostly fondly just congratulating myself on being such a stellar tomboy), my gender seems rather irrelevant to me. I'm a girl, I do not have a problem with being called a girl, or she/her, or my body particularly. I relate to girls in spirit despite having quite different interests. And that act of imagining my life of a man, was great fun, and I'd love to be able to live it out, but I do not want to do that with my one life - I'm happy with what I have and want to keep on with it. The word tomboy is my badge of honour. As Secret5 said, you need to be writing more about where feelings of dysphoria do and do not exist in order to really identify your gender.
Wearing dresses, looking boyish, hating pink and all that doesn't indicate gender at all. Like Secrets and SHACH said. However, do you like to cross your legs like a boy because it makes you feel like a boy? How do you feel your gender differs from your sisters? Does your feelings of 'gender' change when your presentation does? Or do you just feel like sometimes being cute? These sorts of things can clue you into gender more. Think about WHY you do things, why you feel about things. Do you feel negatively about pink and dresses because you just don't want to conform to femininity or because you feel like it invalidates you as _____ gender? Think about the roots of the way you act and feel, and maybe gender will be easier to flesh out from that.
I think that this old thread I started, called Can't I just be neutral?, was one of my best and early explanations. I say that I want to dress a certain way because I want to be seen and feel a certain way. I did initially peg it for nonconformity and personality, but still had issues with being a girl. I tell people online that I'm a boy sometimes. And I really like it, it feels right. On this site I tried masculine pronouns and found that I liked it. The more I looked at cisgender the more I realized that I didn't feel like how it was defined and how people described it. All I really heard in the beginning was "not trans," but it is more that my gender identity conforms with my biological sex. I didn't feel right thinking of myself as female or male. I still feel that way, even though its been years since I started questioning my gender. I've questioned and looked and the closest I could really find were genderfluid, agender, and non-binary. I think I've given up on finding myself a term. Now I just want to feel comfortable in the way I look.
