Hello everyone. I've been thinking a lot lately that it's possible that if I was really honest with myself I'd have to admit that I am indeed FtM trans but at this point I'm obviously not able to do that for some reason. That made me think about what possibly could hold me back. What do you think could be the main reasons for denying one is trans?
What do you mean 'denying one is trans' like oneself? or outside forces? Being trans is difficult, because it's such a personal experience. No one can tell you whether or not you're trans and that's hard because there's so much uncertainty and "well maybe"s. There's of course the fear that people won't be accepting, that school/work/family will become more difficult and people will have it out for you. There's also the uncertainty of the future, no one can predict the future so of course changing your whole life is a scary aspect of that. Really though, everyone has their own reasons for being afraid or hesitating. Some people never get out of this rut, some people never have it at all. It's all about learning your own pace, letting yourself get comfortable with your situation and learning how to be yourself.
Reasons are just too individual. My main fear is "what if I'm wrong" and then come out and face shame when my being wrong surfaces and forces me to "go back". So! Main reasons are fear and self doubt... but you can easily see how broad those terms are. Your reasons are your own
Thank you for your replies, they are both helpful. I decided to start writing a journal again as a way to keep track of my thoughts related to my gender identity so I could better prepare myself for seeing a gender therapist (my appointment is in 3 months from now).
