Ok. So. I have been thinking a lot about gender stuff recently. Maybe because gender stuff is getting talked about a lot more and there are actually words now(!) for the way I've been feeling all my life. Thing is, I have typically thought of myself a genderless being. When I'm alone in my room reading a book, for example, I don't think of myself as a girl in a room reading a book, just a human being in a room reading a book. The only times when I feel gendered is when I have to go to the appropriate public washroom, or be addressed as a "lady" or "ma'am" in a fancy restaurant. These things don't bother me per se, but I can't help but feel like I don't 100% identify with these categories. I've always been somewhat of a tomboy. Dressed in gender-neutral clothing and, since I've been old enough to make money and shop on my own, bought clothes from the guys section. I've gone through phases of long hair and short hair and generally change it up when I'm bored, or the weather's hot or whatever. In other words, I generally just don't care about my presentation and appearance. Sometimes I feel more feminine and wear dresses and blouses, and that's cool, but that's the exception to the norm. The thing is, I like the idea of agenderlessness and gender neutrality, but I feel like I don't "care" enough, or it's not pertinent enough, that I want to do anything about it ie. get new pronouns or transition. I don't feel any physical dysphoria. So what does this mean? Can I identify as a pronoun-indifferent agender person who chooses to pass as a cis female but if asked would identify as agender? Ideas? Thanks.
Yeah, I get it. Honestly, I might be MTF. But I'll probably live my life as a feminine male because I feel the appearance of a male is fine. Like you I have no dysphoria. Like you I have no need to change pronouns. I might change labels. I don't identify as third or agender. Sometimes I wish I was female. But not enough. Just remember whatever label you choose is your label and you choose your way of being that. Hugs!
Most people who aren't trans don't always feel like their gender (I am trans and I don't necessarily "feel" like a guy, I think that's pretty undefinable) and many are indifferent to pronouns. Unless you feel a real need to change your gender, you probably aren't trans or non-binary.
No body NEEDS to transition or change pronouns or whatever, plenty of people do but tons (and yeah, tons and tons of agender people) don't! Be yourself and do what you wanna do, people can't tell you otherwise. There's no one way to live your life, even if you identify as something. (And I'm going to disagree with baconpox here, because it is wholly unnecessary to feel the need to change gender in order to be trans. Don't worry about that. It's 'aight. nonbinary people feel indifferent all the time)
I disagree with you saying nobody needs to transition. I needed to transition. Before I started living as a guy I felt unnatural in public, had an eating disorder, and was depressed--once I socially transitioned I instantly became more social and happy. I was fat, ambitionless, friendless, and had bad grades. I now have none of those problems. I cannot function properly as a girl. You don't need to transition. Some people do.
I believe what Ghost was saying is that not everyone needs to transition. Some certainly do, but other trans people do not. Each case varies from person to person.
I guess I am kind of unclear on what ghost meant, because the sentence starts with saying nobody really needs to and then says some do shortly after. Because of the emphasis on "needs" I assumed the point was that some people feel a need, but it's not really necessary.
I used to be in your situation, but my case was different. I only identified as agender because it would then be easier to gradually transition from male to female. I didn't really care about pronouns, either, but now I prefer female pronouns. Have you heard of the YouTuber Vi Hart? She passes as a woman (and was assigned female at birth), but she identifies as gender agnostic and has asked the public to refer to her as a "person", not a "woman". Clothing wouldn't really matter to these people, although it's definitely harder to dress femininely while passing as male. There are many people in the world like you, and I really wouldn't change anything if I were you (unless you feel dysphoria like I do). :icon_bigg I hope this helps.
