You can do whatever you want to and need to do to make yourself feel better about yourself. I know there are some workouts out there that help transmen that are not on T gain a more "male physique". Also, if you have a higher voice, you cantry to train it to be lower. So, the next step is really whatever you want it to be.
I have already done those, although probably I could excersice more and speak in a lower voice. I have difficulties socialising. I could dress more like a guy too, I guess... I should not feel ashamed of being that way, I guess... but I do. It's just, I like my hair the way it is (it's long), and I like doing a bit of make-up, and acting a bit feminine. It's a curse in my situation.
Why don't you want to take hormones? Is there a certain part of that process that makes you uncomfortable? Or do you just have no real interest in always looking masculine? Depending on why you don't want to do these things, what you can do to help changes a bit. Though I'd agree with what's already been said!
There's one way to be trans, so yes. You're still trans even if you don't want to, or can't pursue HRT or surgery.
Why not? -> Why yes? Why should I inject some hormones into my body? Where would it bring me? Definitely not closer to what I truly want. I want to be recognised for who I am.
You can socially transition if you haven't already. There is no one way to be trans so you are perfectly valid. But do remember that injecting myself with hormones is exactly what I want (because your last answer felt rather sarcastic and like it should be a no brainer that its a bad idea). I feel Ghostling was just curious about your reason why and not attacking you for choosing not to.
I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound mean. I mean, if you decide to do so, Matto, that's cool with me, but I still view it as taking medicines, as undergoing medical intervention. It's just not my philosophy. I come from quite the opposite end than most guys. I struggle with accepting that I am a man on my mind, I beat myself up for being a wierdo. I never struggled with my body, I struggle with feeling not the way I am supposed to feel.
The thing is... I'm in a place of my journey that people usually reach after years of living as themselves. I have been through a phase of heavy body dysmorphia and realised how it works, got rid of it, I do not think there is anything wrong with me being female any more, I can do it in my own way, and I don't think there is anything wrong with not being cis either. I don't think anything has to "match". I do not see being a man as something bodily, it's more of an energy. More of a direction than actual position. It's what you value, how you feel about things, how you experience them in a very primary sense, in terms of sensations. I will not be more myself when I take in a hormone and I will not be more of a man than I already am, hormones will not help me see myself as a man, I already do. That's how I got rid of dysmorphia - I stopped seeing a girl in the mirror. I just began seeing myself. Passing in front of others? To be considered a valid man? Nah. I don't think that doing something for "the society" has a point. Conversely, another reason to transition, apart from feeling an unease with being female, might be just like cis women who get breast implants or cis guys taking steroids, for themselves only - I don't feel like doing that. I literally think that me going on T would be the same as a cis guy taking steroids. Oh, man... I don't see the point. I can stop on excersicing and eating properly instead, on what I always did anyway. That's the only reason I might consider in the future to transition physically. When I will genuinely feel like doing this, and will feel like I'm doing it for myself and nobody else. But now I don't feel like doing it. I think my body is just fine.
That makes a lot of sense. You are a man no matter if you are taking hormones or not. I can certainly understand your view point.
Back on topic, I think that social transition might be it. I think I have a few bits still left. I have to gather my guts to come out.
Do you want to know the truth? I got tons of dysphorphia when I was younger. Tons. I cried, I shouted, I begged for puberty blockers. Every month I became anxious a week before I should have had a mense. I cried that I do not want it to come. When it came, I panicked. I wanted to self-harm. I punched myself so hard that I could no longer feel pain. I was disgusted with my breasts, I felt them to be an alien growth on my chest. I wore the tightest bras possible for them not to move, because it just felt wierd. At some point, I was so bothered that it messed with my hormone system, I think. I skipped cycles. What I wished for so hard, happened. I excersiced hard to grow taller and stronger, I dieted myself, I ignored my body and did anyway whaever the hell I wanted, which was often physically hard. At some point my body started masculinising. No wonder. Now I'm almost 6 feet tall, my voice is tenor, my hands are size L and wiry, I'm way more muscular and hairy than an average cis girl.
