I am a female, mentally I'm more like a man... I feel wrong about the mentally being a man part and I'm struggling to accept it. I could comfortably live as cis female, but it's a pain, having to hide who you are, watching your every reaction, and it's a pain to beat myself up for being something else than I wish I was. I don't want to become anything I'm not any more. I'm not running away any more. There are problems in here, because I was denying a significant part of who I am and it held me back in many aspects. I don't think anything inherently has gender. Heck, even penis does not have gender. Gender is like yin and yang: one cannot exist without the other. I'm not sure what I am, though. Genderqueer? Is that how you call it? What I am depends on the definition of "man" and "woman" used. I do not need to experience my sexuality the same way everyone else does. I do not need to become something else, and if someone has a problem with me being gender-variant, that's their problem. I don't want to put up with such people anyway.
Genderqueer is an umbrella term that includes things that are beyond cis genders. If you prefer to call youself "gender-variant", then yes, you could consider yourself genderqueer. However, you don't have to label yourself if you don't want to. Be what you feel--be you! If you're struggling to accept who you are, don't worry! Self-acceptance doesn't happen right away most of the time. It takes time for some people. No need for rushing! Just know you're definitely not alone right now. I hope that you can be happy with your true self ^-^
Congrats on working through those things! That's a great step in the right direction, and I hope you continue to make similar progresses. I'd say maybe nonbinary? Genderqueer is a pretty old term that most people don't use anymore in general. Though that's not to say you can't ID as it! Nonbinary is just a more updated term for it. Sexuality isn't at all connected to your gender, so don't worry about that. Edit to agree with Salad. I've always been fond of the ID 'gender-variant' as well
Gender is an element of sexuality, just like orientation, libido... ---------- Post added 21st Apr 2016 at 03:20 PM ---------- Like bio-sex
