I have gotten my letter for HRT and it was approved iv'e gone to my endocrinologist i also have a therapist. But i am still having a lot of doubts about taking testosterone. I want to take hrt but i sometimes question if i could live without it accept i don't want to live my entire life with wide hips and female looking thighs or no arm strength. I'm just scared because i do have a agender side and my male side is often strong however its more feminine then some peoples so i often feel misunderstood. It makes everything complicated and when i think about T i question if i'm going to fuck up even though my list of my pros and cons have almost no cons. :bang:
I think taking HRT is kind of a daunting experience for everyone, even if we know 110% that we want it. Even I'm a little worried about how I'm going to look and feel on testosterone even though I identify solely as male and I've been dying to get on T for years. But to me, it sounds like you really do want it- you're just concerned about how you're going to feel as a non-binary guy. First off, if for whatever reason you decide T isn't for you, that's okay. You can take it for a while and see how you feel. Keep in touch with your therapist and be open about your concerns. Another thing you'll need to keep in mind is that testosterone doesn't offer people the ability to pick and choose the characteristics they'll develop. It does sound like this is something you're already aware of but it is something to note if you're still not sure about T. Consider working out, whether you decide on T or not. That will help with building lean muscle, which will help you build up your arms and other muscles and help address your fat distribution.
Remember that if you start experiencing something you don't like, you can always stop! There's nothing wrong with taking breaks and going through with HRT doesn't have to be a solid block of time until you're an old person. Everyone can have periods of doubt, and there's nothing wrong with that. Also, you can be a feminine man. There's nothing wrong with that. But honestly, I would suggest trying it out anyway. You'll never know if you don't try, and there's plenty of time to stop before anything major happens.