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i wanna be more feminine

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Jaymmm, Apr 24, 2016.

  1. Jaymmm

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    Im a girl who looks very masculine. I wanna be girly. Im most probably straight.

    The problem is i have distorted way of thinking. Its logical for me to make more "man" from myself because im attracted to masculinity/men, so i wanna look good to myself when i look in the mirror. When other (straight) women have make up and try to look more feminine- earrings, eyelashes etc. they actually make less attractive persons from themselves....they have to get over the situation that they are not attractive to themselves to look more attractive to males.

    i know my way of thinking is weird but i would appreciate your inputs...

    am i really weird that i wanna look attractive to myself? Do you have it differently?


    (and unfortunatelly it prevents me from being attractive to other men which isnt crucial for this thread)
     
  2. Mihael

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    Excuse my blunt approach, but do you want to be attracted to your reflection in the mirror or do you have a different concept of beauty than the eyelashes, earrings etc?
     
  3. Jaymmm

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    i want my reflection in the mirror looks like someone who would be attractive to me (im unable to make from myself somebody who would be attractive to others because i would be unattractive to myself)

    i know its weird and im unhappy because of that



     
  4. Mihael

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    Either way, there is nothing wrong about it :slight_smile:

    The first thing would be like... a kind of auto-erotic fetish-like thing? Nothing wrong with that.

    The second... nothing wrong with having a different concept of beauty than the other girls. I think many of them actually don't dress like this to please men, but to please themselves only, because they like to look this way. Then, probably you pefer to look more masculine. Which would be somehow gender non-conforming. And is perfectly okey. In that meaning, pretty much everyone dresses for themself.

    ---------- Post added 24th Apr 2016 at 01:37 PM ----------

    I still can't tell which case you are. But being attracted to someone and wanting to look like them are two separate things. Which might be confusing IF you both want to be a more masculine person and are attracted to men.

    ---------- Post added 24th Apr 2016 at 01:52 PM ----------

    side note: it's not that men aren't attracted to masculine women. It's a social paranoia. It all comes down to personal preferences. Some prefer blondes, some brunettes, some prefer feminine girls, some - tomboys, some don't mind either way as long as you're a cool person. There are guys out there who will like you for you.

    Hey, did you write "other men"? You feel like one of them, right?
     
  5. PrettyinPunk

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    Seconded! There's no reason to be unhappy about what you find attractive on a person and how you want to present yourself. There are many tomboys, masculine orientated, etc women out there who are straight as an arrow, it's not that odd.

    First off, while nothing's wrong with wanting to embrace your femininity..I stress you do it for the right reasons. If it's just to get a guys attention I would advise against but if it's just from curiosity or just a personal change, go ahead. In the end it's better to be liked for your personality than how masculine you are.

    On to tips:
    You say you like how masculine men appear. I'm guessing in both physical and behavioral, so in turn you like to present that as well?
    You could try dressing in a masculine way while adding some feminine accents. Maybe using accessories like jewelry, or painting your nails. Mixing both feminine and masculine associated clothing is an option. Or you could just wear what you wear now but add light makeup to accentuate your female features.

    Now the behavior I think would be harder to change. I suppose observing your more feminine friends, people watch. I'm not sure it'd work I've never tried changing my behavior in such way. Pretty sure it's not possible, for me anyway.:grin:
     
  6. Jaymmm

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    Hey, did you write "other men"? You feel like one of them, right?[/QUOTE]



    it was just a mistake, i wanned to write "men" not "other men", i feel like 100 percent woman, you say i should be myself no matter what people say and whats attractive for men- i have to say that i said it the same to myself for decades and i ended up being alone, maybe i have some friends but it will never "substitute" any partnership with someone and we dont live in an ideal world, so its good to admit that masculine women are not attractive for 95 per cent of men and its logical...:dry:

    i like how i look but its tought to be single all the time and pretend im ok with that (even though im very good at pretending everything is alright)
     
  7. Mihael

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    It often boils down to confidence and feeling good in your own skin. It's not the masculine style alone. And there are many ways to look pretty when still being a tomboy. It depends on what you would be comfortable with though. Like PrettyInPunk said, you can add some accents like jewelry, minimal make-up, hairstyle, asccessories... "Masculine" is a pretty braod category, how you can go about it dpends on how you look and behave, and what you like and what you're comfortable with.
     
  8. PrettyinPunk

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    Oh ok sorry for the misunderstanding there.

    I'm sorry to hear you've been so lonely and unable to find the kinda guys that would like to get to know you. I'll give you that the majority of straight guys might not initially be attracted to you because of your masculinity and thats ok. We've all got our preferences just avoid those guys. There are guys that not only do not care about how masculine you are, Hell some love it.

    Trust me I know from experience. I prefer the label punk but most people would probably label me as a tomboy. I identify as a cisgenderd women and I embrace that but I'm also very masculine (compared to other girls). I still get hit on by guys a lot. I've been told they appreciate how chill I am. And I gotta say it's nice when you can bro out together, play video games, and cuddle.

    Either way don't get too discouraged. If you stay hopeful (I understand it's hard sometimes) and try to get to know more guys I'm sure you'll find someone. (*hug*)
     
  9. Jaymmm

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    thanks a lot all of you :slight_smile:))
     
  10. Mihael

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    Seconded.(ad PrettyInPunk's post) Some guys are turned on by that, even when it's not the majority. Well, I get hit on by guys quite a lot too. Although my experience might be a bit different, I behave more like a male than masculine... It still doesn't discourage them, even paired with my gender non-specific look.

    Anyways.
    ^This.
     
    #10 Mihael, Apr 24, 2016
    Last edited: Apr 24, 2016
  11. ashleysummer

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    I totally agree with you! Make-up, hairstyle and jewelry will make you more feminine. My sport clothing style and pixie haircut do note make me woman-like. But I always try to add some beautiful accessories and jewelry. For example, I've recently ordered these cute earrings from Crown Jewelery online store.
    [​IMG]
    I think it's an art to know how to emphasize your femininity and be more ladylike.