Hi, hopefully someone can help me out with this... I was born a female and I'm 25 years old. Throughout my childhood, I was deemed a major tomboy, and always felt as though I belonged with the guys rather than other girls...I could never connect with the girls and I never fit in with them (I still don't!). My personality has always been considered to be extremely rough, aggressive, manly, crude, etc. Pretty much any male-like term you can imagine...I have been called it. I have been consistently told throughout my life, "you HAD to have been a guy in a past-life!"...and I have always agreed to that idea because that has always made the most sense to me...because nothing else has. But here's the confusing part...I don't feel as though I'm really a boy on the inside. At least not completely. I know I am a girl and I identify using female pronouns. I sometimes like to dress up, wear makeup, and look extremely feminine if the situation calls for it (like going out to a club, theatre, etc.). But...beyond that, I am most comfortable in a tank top and jeans. If I could, I'd wear that everyday (I nearly do). I wear that outfit because I feel as though it's a way for me to still look attractive, but show that I'm not really feminine. I have wanted to chop off my hair for as long as I can remember...but haven't solely due to knowing I wouldn't be able to "pull the look off". It seems like a lot of the feminine things I do, is to just fit in and to feel attractive.... Can anyone shed light on this for me? I have always felt so different...I hate it. Maybe if I can label it, I can understand and embrace myself better?
Hi KFJ! I'm only posting as how you describe yourself, sounds a lot like how my girl friend identifies. She uses female pronouns and is fine being called a woman, but doesn't really feel like a girl or a boy. She gets on better with guys, likes hobbies what are "deemed" masculine e.g gaming, football, cricket, but she still likes to dress up super femmy sometimes. She has only recently come across this label, but she finds demigirl really fits her. Hope this is some help P.s I chopped my hair really short recently and haven't reretted it once.
You can just be a masculine girl. It can be hard to accept, but there's really nothing wrong with it. I'd recommend trying to find some other girls who are masculine so you can fit in with them. There are plenty of YouTube channels run by tomboys. Once you know others like you it can help you to feel better. Just because you don't fit a stereotype doesn't mean you have to identify differently.
How you label yourself is entirely up to you. Sounds similar to me. There is always a problem with people like us, and there is always someone to say they know better than us who we are. I, personally, identify as transmasculine, go by he in the internet and irl don't bring the subject of pronouns up. All the "am I a woman/man?" is a headache for me and is a topic for a philosopgical dispute. I consider my heart and soul to be that of a man, and my body to be female. And that is what I am. Subtracting anything from that would lead to a deficient desceiption. Anyways. You could be an androgyne or gender neutral if you don't feel completely like a guy or a girl. Also I think it's worth thinking how you feel about all those things, which come from your heart, and which from intellect. Which way you know you are a girl, which way you enjoy dressing up. I have an impression that the boyish things you describe come from your heart.
I feel like labels are great for helping us define our differences (for ourselves or for others), but I also don't believe those labels are always necessary, at least not for me anymore. An excerpt from my story: I always hung out with boys; playing sports, roughousing, skateboarding, working on cars, etc. I lived as a straight girl (then) but was very much a tomboy. Jeans, tanks, army jacket. No makeup (too much effort) and ponytails. By the time I hit 18 I had a punky pixie cut because it suited me, still dated mostly guys. Got married, had kids, was abused, got divorced, started searching for myself again. I read everything that I could find, trying to figure out which labels I could wear honestly. None of them made me 100 percent comfortable. I decided that maybe there just isn't a perfect label for me yet... and I'm mostly okay with that. I'm just a lifelong tomboy with really nice boobs who likes being one of the dudes. Unfortunately, I'm still stuck with my sexuality label. Good luck!
