How often does your gender change? (Genderfluid)

I've been wondering about other genderfluid people's rate of change too! I'm extremely self conscious about how frequent my shifts are, I'm worried people won't take me seriously if they know.

When I was just becoming aware of it, I'd notice a shift about twice a week, but now that I'm paying closer attention, I notice that it's always at least slightly different from the last time I checked in. For major shifts that require wardrobe adjustment, etc, I think once or twice a day is normal for me.

I actually started recording my gender (in the form Masculinity %, Femininity %, and Other%, with the percents not necessarily adding up to 100%, sometimes more, sometimes less) I make at least 1 entry to the table per day, and most days are different from the last. So far what I've learned from the spreadsheet is that late at night is a time where I'm very susceptible to gender changes, and when I am sleepy or asleep, I have far fewer gendered feelings.the I've been doing the spreadsheet thing for just over a month.

This is a screenshot of the chart of the spreadsheet results.

Spoiler

I wasn't expecting it, but when taking the mean of each of the types, they're all within 7% of each other (31%, 38% and 34% respectively) and the mean of the total gender feeling amount per day is 103%, so very close to one whole gender. :lol:

I've felt "stuck" before. It's very unpleasant, but a kind person on here gave me some advice: You can't get stuck somewhere you don't really belong. We didn't get stuck as Cis even in a society where that's the strictly enforced norm, and we won't get stuck anywhere else unless it ends up being the right place to be.

I have the same feelings about transition. During masculine or neutral times it's "I must transition, it's driving me crazy not to, please give me hormones, I'm dying without them." And during feminine times it's "Well, but, I look so cute as a butchy girl! It would really be a pity to tamper with it, it's so nice right now. Let's not mess with testosterone, it makes you stink and screws up your genitals." And then it goes back and forth, annoyingly and slightly distressingly.

I will let you know if I find a solution for it, but I really think it's part (albeit a sucky part) of being genderfluid.

 

First off, I can't tell you what you feel, I'l just adress a couple of things in you r post I think are misconceptions.

You don't have to transition your body to be a trans man. You can be perfectly okey with a girl body and being a girl, whatever that means, see yourself as a girl and be comfortable with that, and still be a trans man. Because this is not about feeling comfortable or not, it is about organic urges.

I willingly wore eyeshadow, skinny jeans and a pink blouse today. I still feel like a guy. I love my female body, although, like many guys on this planet, I sometimes wish I was a bit less of a weakling.

 

I'm not gonna lie, Delta: your graph makes me envious! :lol:

For me it's a bit complicated (or perhaps by being new to it I'm not yet good at discerning how my feelings really work). A gender flip can happen at any time but it can also be triggered. Once it's flipped, the strength of identifying with that gender can fluctuate several times during the day. On top of that, I can go several weeks at a time with the gender flipped and then after a while switch back to either boy or "I'm just me". I think I'm going to keep a diary of it from now on and see what happens. It's worth noting that like Delta the feeling of being a girl isn't 100%. There's always a bit of tension and my thought life tends to vary between "I hate my masculine side" when I'm feeling feminine and "I hate my feminine side" when I'm feeling masculine. I'm not sure why this is - I may be subconsciously afraid to let go fully.

 

i can relate to this. i am Bi Gender (m/f) and it is fluid, situations, topics of conversation, emotions, all seem to play a part in what gender is more prominate. for me this can switch several times a day or i can go days as one or the other, or days where im pretty equal. it tends to make for an interesting, frustrating (at times) ride.

and then there are times like this weekend where i woke up at like 5am with dysphoria nearly begging God for breasts. :tears:

 

It's not usually very jarring and extreme for me, so it's hard to say. There are times when I feel fairly strongly I'm a man but then mostly I'm somewhat of a mix of male/female maybe subtly more one way or the other.

 

Thank you

Thinking something doesn't automatically mean it's true. I thought I was straight (as a woman) when obviously being aroused by women and having a crush on a girl. I dimissed it as "not really attraction", because "attraction" was defined as a feeling to the opposite sex inside my head, so it couldn't have been attraction, by definition. Smart, isn't it? Same might apply to gender. Everyone told me I'm a girl - so I went along. I didn't understand what made me a girl, I envied boys so freakin much, almost everything about being a boy seemed somehow cooler and more instinctual, yet - I was a girl, right? No need to question. Gender is something parents assign you. #Logic. Conclusion: Don't trust your own thoughts, unless you revised your assumptions.

 

I ID as binary, but I think one's gendered feelings can flow even for binary people. Me, I go in between feeling very much female and feminine etc., to mostly not caring at all, or being more 'neutral'. I guess that's kind of true for a lot of girls though, as far from all women are super feminine 24/7. ^^

 

I used to identify as gender-fluid but don't anymore. Back when I used to, I would identify as a girl most of the time and then rarely as a guy (as in, 30 minutes at most). I would also identify as neutral from time to time (more so than male actually). I'm not exactly sure as to why I no longer identify as gender-fluid but I just seemed to stop feeling like a boy or neutral.

 

Thank you for this post, it's wonderful knowing that I'm not alone in feeling this way.

 

yeah a little but i figure it's all part of the ride and just another experience in this thing called my life. haha.