Why will everybody tell you you're cis or agender?

a lot of people go ahead with assigning people's gender on this forum because they read a few definitions on Wikipedia or something, and if you don't fit the binary stereotype, you get all those labels thrown at you.

Usually if one post is enough for someone to say something with such confidence, that someone is likely wrong. All we can say here is "you sound like you were this or that"; at least that's what I've learn here.

 

I think it boils down to two main reasons:

1) There's a widespread misunderstanding of what it means to be nonbinary. There's this sense that if you don't strongly feel your gender all the time or if your dysphoria fluctuates that means you're nonbinary, when those are actually super normal experiences for binary trans people. There's also often a feeling of not feeling trans enough when you're first questioning which can lead to someone identifying as nonbinary and later realizing they were binary (e.g. a trans guy identifying as a demiboy or something like that because he thinks he doesn't feel male enough to be a trans guy).

2) People are afraid to tell people they might be wrong about their own gender. Obviously, I am not advocating for telling people they're not actually the gender they identify as, but when someone comes on EC questioning their gender, and they say "I think I might be nonbinary", people are much more likely to suggest nonbinary genders than to go "you can feel that way and still be binary".

I also worry about the focus on gender roles sometimes. A common occurrence is masculine women who start questioning their gender because they don't want to wear women's clothes or they don't like being called "miss". It's important not to completely shoot someone down when they're questioning their gender, but it's also really important to make sure that they understand that it's possible to be a masculine woman or a feminine man.

 

Personally I can't stand labels because they make me feel like a caged bird. Though society tells us so.