So I got into a silly fight on facebook. I dared to ask someone why he wouldn't take out his rejecting facial piercing and he blew up at me for being "self righteous". Whatever, my fault, I tried to ignore it and move on. But then he spent a good solid hour sending me private messages making fun of me because I have my half-and-half gender presentation picture for my profile picture. He misgendered me, taunted my gender, did his best to belittle me, the whole nine yards, until I couldn't take any more and I blocked him. He was a trans guy, too, you'd think he'd be at least a little more considerate. And I was just noticing, throughout the rather painful process, that when this happens, because this happens rather frequently, one of the things that the jerks who do this all stoop to is saying "I identify as a taco" or "My gender is donut" and stuff like that to mock me... But I'm a human being and I'm perplexed and exhausted by it. Why is that a thing? What do I even say to that? They clearly aren't going to respect me any time soon, but I feel like shit when there's not anything I can even say in my own defense. No one else is stepping up for me, so if I feel like if I don't do it, no one will. But maybe I should give up and just let them sling shit at me until they're done... I don't know, I'm just hurt and feeling hopeless.
Can you block or report them? You could remind him of a time he wasn't accepted, and everything he had to fight for, and how most people will now accept and the people who don't look stupid, and that's how he's going to look in 50 years time. I can't think of anything else, sorry.
I did block him after a bit, but it's common enough that I'm thinking it's only a matter of time before it happens somewhere I can't block... I tried that actually. According to him he's never been misgendered or taunted even once because he's "not a fake"... And that sounds fake to me, but..
When we dehumanize others, we make them into caricatures, basically, and feel less bad for putting them through hell. Blacks are enslaved? Well, they're closer to animals, anyway, so they don't deserve the same rights. Gay people are imprisoned? Well, they're pedophiles, perverts, sinners, etc. so it's what they get. Women raped? They shouldn't have been wearing this or that. Yeah, that whole identifying as inanimate object thing makes no sense to me, and I'm not even sure if they honestly believe it's valid comparison, or just wish to be jerks for the hell of it. They don't have to learn or listen, just brush these matters off as something trivial and absurd. What do you say? Nothing at all. You can stoop down to their level, and throw insults their way, but it probably won't change their minds (even if it makes you feel better, temporarily).
The way I think of it is that they're below us. They don't deserve our logic and compassion because they're idiots. I usually resort to this after rational discussion has gone no where and they've used insults to get their point across.
Lacybi, isn't this the same attitude as them dehumanizing us? Delta, my 2ยข on this, and most conflict issues, is that we have to operate from a position of (a) love, no matter how hard, as our baseline, (b) attempt to understand their perspective, while (c) staying personally healthy. Unfortunately, some people troll just to troll and like to watch the world burn. If you come at them with love, they try and drag you down of course but it doesn't feed the troll fire of negativity. Likewise, if you are trying to see things from the other perspective, maybe there's a puzzle piece you're missing... or not. Wasting energy on a troll only makes the troll happy and sucks you dry. Ultimately, staying healthy - emotionally and physically - is important so you can't let the negativity pull you down. Recognize it as an opinion - flawed, misguided, or even hateful - but not a fact. You're obviously not a donut. You show your humanity every day and if the other person is drowning in negativity, it's probably more a reflection of their own self-esteem than a picture of your worth. Basically, all this boils down to the Oracle of our times' words who presciently stated: Spoiler Haters gonna hate, hate, hate Baby, I'm just gonna shake it off, shake it off...
Some people are just scum. That doesn't mean they can't possibly change, but... some people don't change. Some people form a shi**y personality early on and live like that their entire lives. What to do with them? If it makes you feel better, throw a cuss or a socker punch at them, or just ignore them. Make your best effort not to have any such people in your life, not even adjacently such as on FB, and live yours the best you can.
