Salutations, y'all. I'll leap straight into it- I'm really confused about my identity. I'm not sure when it started. I guess I could say it was subconsciously in elementary school when I was playing make-believe with my friends and I always played a girl, even though I was a boy. In video games too I would choose the female option and read books geared towards girls. When asked, I would simply reply that I was wondering what it was like to be a girl. Now, things are getting more complicated. I dyed my hair blue [it has since faded to blonde] and grew it really long, and now people are wondering aloud about my gender. People are calling me "she" instead of "he" by accident, but I found I wasn't vexed at all, more appreciative. Of course since I was always in front of my friends I would nervously assure them I was a boy. I have never been very masculine though, preferring what is thought of as "girly". My dad considers me a total wimp some of the time because I'm so squeamish. I love the colour pink- my room is lit pink, and I begged my parents to let me dye my hair pink but they said it "invites commentary". I have a cast of personalities in my head I like to talk to [not weird at all] but what I've noticed is that the voice of reason is feminine while the others are genderless. I strongly prefer "they/them" [and weakly "she/her"] to "he/him" but every time I confront myself about this part of me thinks that this is all so stupid, I'm a boy and I should accept it and be more of one. Last thing- I've started drawing a version of myself who has all of my features, but with pink, longer hair and who is a girl. Thinking about being her [I call her Roxy because my parents almost named me Roscoe and Roxy sounds kinda close] is liberating, almost addicting. I'm thirteen right now, so I know it's too early to be thinking about this but these thoughts have been torturing me constantly. I'm so sorry for the long post but I wanted to make sure I covered everything. Advice?
I've questioned my gender identity before, and it was tough... You could be Genderfluid, maybe, but I don't really know because I only questioned myself for a short time...
Have you looked at the identity demigirl? I think it might suit you! And honestly, you're not too young to be thinking about yourself. It's totally fine, you're at a great age to start looking at yourself and wondering what you wanna do with your life! My advice would be to not take it too fast, but also don't worry yourself too much. Being you is never going to be a bad thing, so take your time and figure out who you are!
IMO, since you acknowledge that you're a boy (& not just observe that you have a male body), you're just feminine. I'm no expert. It's just my opinion. You have a liking & so, tendency towards feminine stuff. I am feminine too. Around 9, I loved wearing female clothes and acting all girly and was pleased to be referred to with feminine pronouns sometimes. I knew I was a boy, there was no problem there, but I also wished I was a girl at some points of time. I would enjoy dancing like a girl. I had no particular interest in boy toys like guns or fighter planes or race cars. They were pretty unappealing for the most part. This went on till probably age 12. I grew out of it. I remember thinking to myself I should just stop wearing girl clothes and be a boy. I had little problem fitting in with the other boys . I still enjoy wearing girl clothes and acting all feminine sometimes. I even wore drag and danced on stage at my college. It was awesome. The whole point is, I'm comfortable being a boy, even though I like being feminine sometimes. Thinking back on it, it seems like it was an enjoyment for me. A pleasant indulgence which sometimes brought up a yearning to be female. That was my story. I don't know if your situation is similar to mine, nor do I know you will definitely follow the path I went through. I see that you're kind of a step ahead of me in femininity. :icon_bigg The thing is, if you constantly bother yourself with these thoughts, they will of course cause distress and leave you more confused than before. I say, don't think about it and continue with your life. If you still have enduring and stronger feelings that you're actually a girl then I suppose you should seek an open minded therapist's help for guidance . I don't know what real transgenders' state of mind is, but they typically report that they're in the wrong body. You might like to ckeck out the DSM-V criteria for being possibly transgender. Here's a link, Gender Dysphoria Symptoms | Psych Central What I don't understand is why people have the need to label themselves such as genderqueer, demi, poly & what not. I understand that some behaviours/feelings are not in line with the gender they're supposed to be, but why get so anxious over it and overthink and get confused looking for a label to identify with. We're humans. We exhibit a range of behaviors and feelings. Nothing is strictly aligned in a particular course. That's the nature of nature. Random bouts of non-aligned feelings are normal for everyone. But when we obsess & overthink & get anxious about them, that's when trouble starts. Transgenders are different. They have strong alignment with what they identify with. It's the other people who get anxious over some random feelings and have their obsessions. Hope I helped. Sorry for the long post though.
Thinkreal, transvestites do fall under transgender umbrella. Not bothering about labels can be destructive in the long time. I wish I did care about labels years ago. I'd have transitioned already.
Kiran, transvestites are distinct from transgenders in that they don't really feel they are of the opposite gender/sex. They are comfortable in their own gender. Yeah, in a way it can be destructive. But being too particular about it such as demi-, poly-, gray-, are so unnecessary. It is so restrictive too.
Yes but still transvestite, transgender, transsexual - these are distinctive terminologies even though they can be grouped together with a common concept.
