Hello. So lately, I've been thinking what it would be like to tell people about my gender identity. I think about it a lot to the point where I feel like I don't belong in society. Like, everyone knows their identity. Someone I talk to told me I seem to be the person who knows whom they are and what they want to do, but are blocked by other people. This seems true here. I know I'm mascandrogyne, but the people around me block this from me. Like, I want to tell people and go by Niko or Aeryn if that is more comfortable with them, I don't mind either, but I'm scared about not belonging. It's hard because I look at all these sheets and they always ask for your gender and only give male and female. I cringe and circle female because I have no other choice. I tend to cross it off and say sex, but still. People assume gender = sex and that's that. My mind is bringing up my anxiety about this a lot because I'm afraid I will be seen differently. Like, I'm sudden not valid or something like that because I am not "normal". I hate this feeling. This is my biggest secret, which is really scary at the moment. I know the people I'm close to are LGBTQ+ friendly, but it's more on the sexual orientation side. I am talking more about trans issues around my friends and they don't seem to care... I am unsure because of several reasons if that fact is true. Anyways, holding this inside builds up emotions. Like a lot. I know the only way to release this is by telling people, but I will be having big stuff to tell my friends on Monday. I'm rambling now. I mainly don't feel valid for being non-binary because our society seems people in a binary way in terms of gender.
Hey, I know how you feel. Technically I'm a genderfluid with a mostly male preference, that and I'm bisexual, but I still feel nervous about getting disowned. I have a few people I managed to open up about it, and I do hope you'll find someone too.