I identify as female but my gender expression is basically genderfluid. I feel no sort of dysphoria or a desire to hide my gender. Can gender expression be different from gender identity?
Gender expression and gender identity are not the same thing. Gender identity is how you identify While gender expression is how you tend to express yourself. As an example. A butch woman is a female with a masculine gender expression.
Yeah, and there's no reason to label expression as something like "genderfluid". That's a gender, while this is just expression. It's perfectly fine to be female and like to wear any kinds of clothes, or express yourself in anyway. You don't have to be trans because of it. If that's how you like to express yourself, that's great. Don't feel like you have to act a certain way/do certain things because of your gender.
It would just be easier to label myself than to have no reason whatsoever for going to both the men's and women's section for clothes. I was hoping to have a reason. Having a feminist mom I can't exactly wear what I like. It was a fight to even get a pixie cut.
Like others have said, genderfluid can't be an expression. I think the term you're looking for is androgynous or something to that effect. The reason is that you like both stereotypically male and female clothes? Why should you need a reason? That's like saying someone who identifies as female needs a reason for liking stereotypically male centred things like cars or football. Just be yourself and wear what you want.
For me to wear something not stereotypical feminine is like coming out as trans. She's transphobic. It's not so easy but, I'll try. She's fine with me acting like a tomboy. I just can't dress masculine.
How is a long hairstyle feminist? Wouldn't it be a feminist ideal to let you do whatever you want with your hair because you're a strong, independent woman? Hm.
As long as my hair is curly or a pixie bob (hate those) and no less than shoulder-length it's feminine. According to stereotypes. In the 1900's it was shunned upon for a girl not to wear a dress and to have short hair. Hence the continuation of this stereotype.
I hope you don't mind me asking but what exactly do you mean by feminist? Why is she limiting your ability to express yourself? The term feminist has a wide range of meanings and can range from a belief that women should be free to express themselves in whatever way they wish, to radical feminists who can have fairly extreme negative opinions about men and some believe that trans women are men that want to control women and trans men are women who gave in to the patriarchy. Is that what you mean by transphobic? (*hug*)
It's really odd that she says you can't dress masculinely despite being a feminist? Then again I'm not generally surprised by feminist hypocrisy these days.
Transphobic as in she hates transgender people. And feminist as in anything that isn't stereotypical girly is shunned.
Thanks for clarifying, do you understand the reasons behind her views? In general, if she is transphobic and controlling, coming out as genderfluid will most likely have negative consequences, she might limit your ability to express yourself even further. Do you have a support network outside of your home, a place where you feel more free in just being yourself?
Agree with the above majority that what you wear doesn't define who you are or the other way around. There's no law against you labelling your gender however you will, obviously, but if the only reason you don't want to identify as female is that you don't want to wear frilly pink dresses every day, I'd recommend reviewing your reasons and feelings before making any major decision regarding how you wish to identify.
I can relate a lot. I identify as female myself, yet I'm finding more and more that I prefer a more masculine look, and that I'd like to cut my hair short. My mom is kind of against it, and also I don't want to draw further suspicion from her about my sexuality yet. I can't offer the best advice because I'm still trying to figure out how to work around it. If you have/think you could have a good communication flow between you and your mom, maybe try explaining to her how you really feel without labels, how you feel the most comfortable wearing what you want. I know that likely won't work in this situation so I'm sorry. My own tactic currently: I've accumulated some of the types of clothes I want here and there, enough to where I can wear some most everyday. If I just wear it despite her comments, it usually slides. Or I'll wear a hoodie over my shirt until I leave the house. In the end though, you of course are entitled as a human being, to be able to express yourself however you want. Even if you can't do that right now, try not to let your mother's comments discourage you. Perhaps you can slowly get her to budge a bit. Best of luck!
