So... Made a post a little while ago saying that I felt like I was stuck in a place where I couldn't move forward, and couldn't move back. I got advice from some of you guys to get therapy and... For ages it's seemed like too big of a step that I didn't want to confront, and I guess I was also lacking confidence in myself. But social dysphoria's getting worse by the day instead of better. Physical is in a way, but also something I feel indifferent to. I just avoid thinking about my body and looking at it un-clothed in general because dysphoria's creeping back, and instead of a "guy/neutral" body my brain's back to perceiving it as a "girl". There are some LGBT services around here, and I just finished sending off an email for counselling. From my understanding, it's counselling for anyone on the LGBT+ spectrum, not gender specific, but this is kind of a... step? I've never really talked about my sexuality to anyone (counsellor/therapist-wise) also since coming out last year, so this seems like a good way to ease into bringing up gender stuff... Ummm, yeah........ At this point, I just feel more frightened not to do anything than to do nothing further at all. Any advice on how to talk about it? Or what to mention? My voice is very female/feminine too so I'm sort of paranoid I won't be taken seriously because I can't deepen it. Honestly, I'm thinking a lot more about T....... But I'm still very, very hesitant. And I want a flat chest (well, flatt-er... :/) but I don't know how I feel about surgery. Maybe this will help in just pointing me in some sort of direction...
Advice on how to talk about it to a therapist/counsellor? I just went in my usual military trousers looking like a dude who likes tactical stuff, sat there with my two inch messy hair, and I sort of mumbled how nervous I am, then something like "so, erm, I think I have some issues, regarding, um, well, like gender identity". And she just helped me with questions, asked what I mean, if I'm saying I'm feeling more like a woman, I said "I guess, sort of in that direction". In other words, I had nothing prepared to say nor any real confidence to do it, but as long as your therapist is lbgt friendly and has half a brain, they would try to get a more precise answer no matter how you stammer. No need to prepare unless you think you want to. The only rule is to be honest. Better be honest and take forever to form an answer if you're embarrassed than dismiss the question with a lie. You might convince your therapist to the lie and it would be detrimental to your treatment. My therapist didn't care about my presentation at all and took it seriously, like she should have. If she didnt, I would seek another. She still calls me by male pronouns, but it's simply because that's how I choose to speak for now, until I live openly. I'm sure she would switch the moment I told her I want it.
