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I think I want to wear a suit to graduation. Advice?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Chinaski, May 15, 2016.

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  1. Chinaski

    Chinaski
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    I graduate university in June and thinking about what to wear really stresses me out. I hardly ever wear dresses. I've pretty much only worn dresses a handful of times since I started to decide what to wear myself (and those have all been occasions like weddings, graduations, and funeral). I don't feel comfortable wearing something that makes me look so feminine. It's doesn't fit the way I see myself.

    A couple of months ago I started to think that maybe I should actually wear a suit to graduation. I think that would be awesome! I'm very worried about it though. I'm not out to anyone at university (or my family) about my gender. I haven't even come to any conclusion about my gender yet, so I basically think of myself as genderqueer (but I'm probably agender or androgyne, unless the way I feel about myself actually has something to do with my sexuality, which probably isn't the case). Anyway, I'm worried about people's reactions if I actually showed up in a suit and a bow tie or something. I know there are suits that look more feminine so perhaps I could go for that (it'd be way better than a dress anyway), but yeah, I'm still worried about what people are going to think and/or say about me wearing a suit instead of a dress.

    Thinking about all of this (what to wear to graduation) makes me anxious and I keep putting it off. Graduation is in less than a month and I haven't even started to really consider what to wear. Also, I hate shopping for clothes (because of the way I look and the way I feel about myself) so I'm not looking forward to that.

    Any advice/suggestions/thoughts?
     
    #1 Chinaski, May 15, 2016
    Last edited: May 15, 2016
  2. MayaBee

    MayaBee
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    DO IT! only advice I can give. Over the years I noticed that people don't care about what anybody wears at all, people care about themselves. I'd definetly do it! :slight_smile: :grin:
     
    #2 MayaBee, May 15, 2016
  3. Really

    Really
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    Women have been wearing pant suits for ages. Just because wearing pants has an important internal meaning for you does not mean anyone else is going to associate a suit with anything else other than your sense of style. Trust me, they're not that intuitive. And, tell me, when you see women around you wearing pants, do you automatically think somethings up with their sexuality? I'll bet not. :wink:

    Find something your comfortable in. That's the most important thing.
     
    #3 Really, May 15, 2016
  4. Chinaski

    Chinaski
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    Of course women can wear pants. It's just that women are expected to wear dresses at this event and I'm nervous. That is all.
     
    #4 Chinaski, May 15, 2016
  5. Becky

    Becky
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    There is no need to be nervous wear what you want it's your choice not someone else's
     
    #5 Becky, May 15, 2016
  6. korovin

    korovin
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    okk here's my experience from graduating from 'gymnasium' (swedish high school/upper secondary school). was out to like one friend in my class, didn't really talk to that many people though. and while I was out to my parents I wasn't out to my relatives, no idea if my parents have told them anything.

    Anyways I went for a suit. With a light blue shirt and a really cool tie. Loved my outfit tbh. I also chose to have my preferred name (now also my legal name. woo) on my graduation cap. And no-one asked or said anything. I guess it depends on how normative people in your area are but i'm honsetly so glad I went with the suit and my preferred name. It's your day, you should feel comfortable. Now when I look at pictures from graduation I like them a lot and am happy thinking about it and if i had worn a dress I would have been so uncomfortable and hated those pictures now.

    Best of luck!
     
    #6 korovin, May 15, 2016
  7. Rickystarr

    Rickystarr
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    No one is going to care if you wear a suit, even if it is a masculine one IME people only get weird when you also wear a tie, so I'd skip the tie if you don't want strange looks/comments. Even cis guys don't wear ties too much anymore.
     
    #7 Rickystarr, May 15, 2016
    Last edited: May 15, 2016
  8. Secrets5

    Secrets5
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    Although, if you like Doctor Who, just respond with ''bow ties are cool''.
     
    #8 Secrets5, May 15, 2016
  9. AaronV

    AaronV
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    I wore a suit to my high school graduation without being out and no one cared. In fact I got multiple compliments on the outfit. Most people who knew me realized I would have felt fake in a dress regardless of gender.
     
    #9 AaronV, May 15, 2016
  10. Chinaski

    Chinaski
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    Thank you for the replies. I think I'll go look for suits soon and see if I can find something nice that in feel comfortable in. :slight_smile:
     
    #10 Chinaski, May 15, 2016
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