So... I know the title might be problematic but I'm really at a loss. I totally accept and respect people who do not fit the binary, but I just fail to understand them. No matter how many definitions I read, I just can't fully grasp the difference between crossdressing and being gender fluid. It's not out of spite, it's just that I can't relate I guess. I would really be most happy if anyone could help me "get it". Maybe it's not possible if I'm binary myself, but... I really want to be able to offer more than just my acceptance. I would really want to also offer understanding. Any ideas, beyond the vague definitions from Wikipedia:icon_wink? I truly want to understand better. Also, and I'm sorry for the super offensive nature of the question, but... here it goes. Whenever people describe their shifts in gender, to me it sounds like something that borders on personality disorder. Now, I KNOW it's not like that but I want to make my feelings clear. Because I don't understand, I also have such response. It's not intentional and I want to fight it through self education. Ugh, I hope people won't take it out of context, because I don't want to post anonymously.
They're not mutually exclusive. Cross dressing is a behavior, and not everyone who does so is binary cis or trans. Regarding personality disorders... we're still in the infancy over understanding the mind, so when you combine things like gender, it becomes even more of a mess. I do know a study that linked bi-gender (or genderfluid, can't remember) to bi-polar disorder, but can't be bothered to search through past threads to find it...
There is confusion and misinformation. Genderqueer or Gender Fluid:Transgender individuals not identifying as male or female/Identifying as male in the morning, female in the night and vice-versa/Identifying as more than one gender at any time. Genderqueer people don't identify or are happy with a set in stone gender. They either don't have a gender or refuse to be labeled as one, go back in forth between male and female genders possibly more, or identify as both male and female. So in turn with this, many will wear clothes that are not typical of their birth gender, and being confused as crossdressers, when they are in a separate category. Crossdressing:Wearing clothes not typically by societies standards to fit with their gender or gender role. Crossdressers are normally cisgendered and are happy with their natural god given gender. They are not gender fluid because they don't have any gender issues. They just like to wear clothes not typically by societies standards the norm for their gender.
I wouldn't go there, there are also studies that link being transgender as a disorder. Regardless of any medical debate, I just want to better relate. The only reason I said "disorder" was because I wanted to highlight how deep is my lack of understanding. I appreciate the answer, but these are just, well, definitions that I'm familiar with. I guess what I want to grasp is how it "feels" to be gender fluid.
You clearly asked what was the difference between Genderqueer and crossdressing and I gave it to you on my opinion. Because believe it or not, there are people that will disagree with me. As someone who is a crossdresser, I'm not genderfluid. I'm a gay male and I don't want to be a woman, and I'm happy god made me male and I don't deal with menstrual cycles or all that women stuff lol. I don't deal with gender dysphoria and I'm blessed for that. I imagine people who are genderqueer do have feelings of gender dysphoria. However if people mistake me for a woman that's fine. I'll tell them I'm a guy, I have a penis and the day goes on.
I'm not genderfluid but probably something along the lines of feeling dysphoric once in one direction and then the other. So the gerderfulid person feels some gender and dresses according to it to be recognised as such. And a crossdresser - I think I would qualify myself as a crossdresser - dresses in order to feel like that gender, but doesn't neccesarily feel like it on their own, or likes the clothes with no motives behind it, simply finds them fun or relaxing, or exciting. I hope it makes at least something clear?
@Domosuke, I'm sorry if I came off as rude. Maybe I was not precise - I wanted a more in-depth explanation, more than what the labels mean when you explain them as basic terms. I know how fluidity and cross dressing are defined, however I find no way to go beyond just that, which is, how that feels like. Your second post is more towards my intention, thank you for that. Would you be comfortable to explain, why you cross dress in that case, and what do you feel when you are dressed as a woman?
I'm genderfluid and I started off as a crossdresser because it allowed me to explore other sides of my identity while always having the backup of "It's just for fun" and "It's an alter ego" and other things so that I could avoid encountering the fact that multiple genders are a part of the real me. It was my defense mechanism against having to go through the dreadful, violent, painful discrimination I'd always heard about trans people facing. I think the key difference is -who- you are in the clothes. I've noticed cross dressers tend to either have an alter ego that isn't part of their day-to-day life or they consider themselves the same gender as always but in clothes that are contrary to that. Of course, this isn't universally applicable and many many people don't fit this, but anecdotally, that's what I've seen. In contrast, now that I identify as genderfluid, I'm always myself, one person, with different gendered feelings. It's not dissociative identity disorder, I don't have multiple people in my head. I just experience changes in the way I see myself and the ways I want to be seen and how I want to be interacting with the world. It's like.. I'm always me, but "me" is a different gender. You know how when you're hungry, you get hungry for different things? Sometimes you want savory foods or protein and other times it's more sweet tastes or carbohydrates that you're craving? Your favorite foods are your favorites, you like the things you like, but what you're hungry for, what you need, that changes. Appetite is a biological impulse you don't have control over that does different things depending on thousands and thousands of different factors. For me, the deeply ingrained impulses that make me aware of what my gender is are changing all the time, similar to that. I'm still the same person, but what I want and what I need change. I get dysphoria when the way people see me or the way I look is really out of sync with those feelings so it isn't really like ignoring them works anymore. I've gotten too familiar with being in touch with my feelings to be able to comfortably resume ignoring them.
That's the best analogy I have seen so far. I still find it an alien experience... (because, I guess, I am binary) but this lets me rationally find some solid points to wrap my mind around. I can kind of see what you mean, I tend to really focus on one thing if it interests me... or, say, have a period of time where I just listen to one kind of music/one artist over and over, then I flip to some other. I will probably never "really" understand... but the more I learn, the more I could be genuine with my acceptance, not merely because I believe everyone should be happy and do what they find best for themselves. Understanding is extremely important.
I am old and a lot of these new terms are different but by definition a crossdresser dresses in clothes of the other gender not only to play the role but the clothes lend a sexual energy as well. I used to id as that because I thought the dressing in female clothes turned me on, but as I grew older I realized it was much more than that.
No worries. I crossdress for comedic purposes. I am an aspiring comedian/singer/actor/dancer and I have a big youtube and twitter following. I also crossdress to troll people in public and fuck with gender roles and statements. I am not a drag queen though. Drag has gone way downhill and I don't want to be apart of that shit.
That's highly subjective. I have many friends who do drag and take both pride and joy in their work. It's true that it isn't what it used to be, but it's a change in quality, not necessarily a decrease in it. It's the same as anything, we all have different metrics.
I would agree with Delta. I personally know over a dozen drag kings and queens who do drag to help underage LGBTQA+ youths. All their shows, all the money they raise go to help homeless LGBTQA+ youth. Especially those that have been abused. I also know one very special drag queen, who works their tush off helping our community in need of food or clothes or to get a great deal on a hair design. So I believe that there are many people who do drag that are decent upstanding individuals. Besides my journey through my transition was helped by one of the most hard working drag king/queen I've ever had the chance to have met. Just sayin :icon_wink
You have to be 21 or older to be a drag queen. You have to be around alcoholic straight men. You have to know how to sew. I am learning how to do makeup, but I'm not great. You have to deal with lots of negativity and homophobes. Plus I hate modern pop music. I would pick Diana Ross and Whitney Houston songs and I don't think people would like that. lol.
