I don't really understand what is meant by transitioning. Is it possible to socially transition without changing your name and pronouns, and without telling everyone "I'm trans"? If you dress and behave like your gender - would you call that transitoin? ---------- Post added 16th May 2016 at 10:17 AM ---------- I don't understand what is meant by coming out either. If people don't know the proper name for it but know what that is - is that coming out? ---------- Post added 16th May 2016 at 10:30 AM ---------- I don't know... just my approach being. I know I won't pass ever. More than 10%. I don't wait until someone treats me like a guy, I don't wait until I pass or look like a guy, I just demand it piece by piece. I just tell and show - I am open - about what I like and dislike, and there is no big deal. I don't feel sorry or stupid for looking like a crossresser or being mistaken for a lesbian. I don't give a damn. Besides, I don't think I look "crossdressed". I'm not being awkward about it all. ---------- Post added 16th May 2016 at 10:37 AM ---------- Is that transitioning? I don't feel like I'm pretending to be someone else. I tried to be a girl in the past, I had this idea in my head that I have to do it right because reasons and tried hard. But now... I just am. I don't try to be something.
Transitioning is a personal process. It means something a little different to everyone. Own your own transition and make it what you want - as much or as little as makes you feel whole, and it can change along the way. My little mantra is "it's a transition, not a race." I'm not competing with anyone else, the finish line is of my own choosing and my pace is my own. Presenting as a gender means having the the outward appearance of your chosen gender, e.g. looking like a guy, wearing guy clothes, guy mannerisms, etc. Coming out is announcing, in a manner, to people that you're trans* or queer. Having "the talk." Some people do it, some people let others figure it out on their own. Your choice.
When I started transitioning (not the diagnosis/medical one) I just used male pronouns and my gender-neutral (tho some say skewed to male) nickname (my language is gendered ). It took me some time to change the accessories, hairstyle (at first, more unisex) and clothes. If I won't tell others that I use different pronouns/name, they won't recognise me as a male because for women much more masculine looks can be taken as "variation" and people don't doubt her gender identity. I'm starting to get rarely "sir" recently (finally!) but I'm unsure what triggered the change. People don't need to know the word for it. I'm not always having the talk, sometimes I just say my male name and use male pronouns. If people don't catch on, then I (if our relation is supposed to last a bit longer than one-time), I correct them with proper pronouns. I used the T word in one group after 3 months of presenting as a male. But people were using my name/pronouns correctly most of the time. I corrected those who didn't.
Transitioning is very much personal, like Emma said. There's no obligation to do any sort of medical transition, or to change names or pronouns or anything. Transitioning is totally to make you feel comfortable with yourself, the name implies some sort of change to happen, but honestly you don't even have to change anything. It's not a requirement to transition. No one has to change anything if that's not what they want, and that's totally fine.
Thank you for replies, I'm trying to figure out where I'm at... I think I went a different route then? I thought I'm agender and hated being treated like a girl. I changed my physical appearance to look more androgynous (I really look androgynous, you can't be sure, no sirs, no madams). Then, all people around, almost, started treating me like a man and seeing me as a man. No, I don't pass. Maybe just a tiny bit. I didn't ever have "the talk". I didn't ever ask for pronouns, but still get "he"d by people who know I'm female. So probably I'm the last person to figure myself out... and I actually did all that stuff without calling it the proper names or recognising that's it. I had a couple of "the talks" explaining that I'm a very manly person, even though I'm female. Without the T word. I was like "No, I'm not transgender, I just am a man on the inside :eusa_danc ". Logic... So it makes me transitioned and out, I guess (almost, I think I still have bits and pieces to do, but it's minor). Thank you for help (*hug*)
