I haven't really told anyone this is my story.When I was in 3rd grade my mom would make me wear dresses and skirts every single day to school and I hated it it wasn't just that I didn't like dresses or anything like that it was more like I didn't feel right in them.I would feel horrible in them, i was uncomfortable, and i knew it wasn't me, that's when I started hiding clothes in my backpack and once I got to school I would go to the bathroom and change.A lot of the time I would take my brothers clothes and wear it because i had hardly anything that wasn't a skirt or a dress, or something that was not feminine.Then in 4th grade i got to dress how I wanted I played sports so I had a lot of non-feminine clothes I would wear basketball and soccer shorts every single day and, a baggy shirt, and some sneakers.I felt like I didn't want to look like a girl or really even be one.That year was one of the happiest years I probably had because I got to dress in what I wanted and I felt more like one of the guys.But in 6th grade my mom bought me a bunch of clothes and it was all girly and I didn't feel comfortable wearing which my mom knew I did not like wearing that stuff so I had to do the same thing i did in 3rd grade.In 7th grade i had this wrap from when I was younger that the doctor gave me for my leg.When I would look in the mirror I would look at my body and I hated having breasts, although I didn't have very large ones I didn't want them at all.I got the wrap I used for my leg and put it pretty tight around my chest area to bind, I didn't even know there was such thing as chest binding at the time, but it kind of made feel better, my chest appeared completely flat, and I dressed masculine.I even got my brother and sister to call me their brother, well sometimes.When my mom wasn't home I decided to cut my hair short.When I got done cutting it I walked out of the bathroom and I knew she was going to be mad.I put my hat on hoping my mom wouldn't figure out what I did.But when she got home she knew i cut my hair and took my hat off.She started yelling at me saying that i looked like a guy, that I was pathetic.The only good thing that I got from that experience was that she said I looked like a boy, although the way she said it wasn't very great, it was nice to be acknowledged as looking like the gender I really am.After that I hid in the closet of my room and cried for hours.When I got to school my girlfriend at the time fixed up my hair, it felt good at least looking like a guy.In 9th grade i cut my hair again, but it grew out again and my mom wouldn't let me cut it or get it cut so its grown out.Even worse she decided to throw all my clothes out now not only do I have a very limited amount of clothes but I have to wear what i have left.At the moment other people identify me as a girl which I'm not to pleased about but I haven't came out to anyone.I'm not sure if I would be considered transgender butI want to be a boy and I know I am one, I don't feel like I'm a girl.I hope to be ale to transition, I am going to start off slow so no one really notices.The problem is I'm not ashamed that I was born in the wrong body but I was bullied for liking girls and I am afraid of what others will think of me or even how my mom would react and I'm already not accepted as I am, I don't have anyone there for me either.
You sound trans to me mate, i'm sorry you went through all that with your mum *hugs* But you know what you're comfortable in and not comfortable in, that's a great first step! Is there a LGBT group at school? Any youth groups in your local area? Hang in there mate!!!
