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Days are getting harder with myself

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by ShotoutToMe, May 24, 2016.

  1. ShotoutToMe

    ShotoutToMe Guest

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Canada, Quebec
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    so I know that I'm trans and what I'm gonna do Iv'e told myself that I'll wait till I'm 18 to get into my transition but I still have 4 years left. Every day I think about it and it's getting harder and harder cause I hate myself as a girl that I just can't see myself as a girl for 4 years that are left and I want to live a teenage life like the others and be happy. I'm really getting tired of it that it makes me wanna get to my transition soon (in hight school). but I don't wanna be a trans in hight school cause it's less easy then in college. Example I'm scared about being judge, bullied, coming out at school and the locker rooms and bathroom at school. At least I have friends at school and finally good ones that Iv'e came out to them cause Iv'e wanted them to know who I really am in the inside that no one knows and their supportive so I'm glad and at school there's a lot of LGBT people even a day that were doing for not being okay with homophobics and transphobics. But THE REAL problem that I'm scared is my mom she will never accept me she is already not accepting me being bi and she thinks I'm crazy and she thinks that trans are crazy and sick and that all LGBT is bad. The only persons that are supportive are my close friends. The thing is that I'm waiting days after days till this day comes that is in 4 years cause it's the only thing that will make me happy and more confident and stuff. I hate myself it's like I can't see an old picture of me or a video cause I'm ashamed of myself. I can't even look myself in the mirror and see that I'm a girl, being every single day of my life something I'm not and tell myself that I can do this. It's getting harder and harder so I really don't know what to do.

    Can someone help me with advices or how I can get through this or whatever?? :bang:
     
    #1 ShotoutToMe, May 24, 2016
    Last edited: May 24, 2016
  2. Skater

    Regular Member

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    You can start with little things. Ask your friends to call you by a different name or pronouns, or change your appearance a bit. Do what you feel comfortable with, but know that it doesn't have to wait until college.

    That's what I'm doing, working towards who I want to be. I'll be a senior in high school next year, and I too am looking forward to college, where people are supposedly more accepting. For now, I've gotten some people to refer to me by they/them pronouns and I'm trying to find a style that fits me, trying to be comfortable with myself.

    Hold on to those people that support you. There are a lot of people who don't understand or don't support it, but that's okay, because there are also a lot of people that do.

    One more thing: Try to be brave.
     
    #2 Skater, May 24, 2016
    Last edited: May 24, 2016