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is "non binary for attention" actually a thing?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Irisviel, May 25, 2016.

  1. Irisviel

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    As I'm not into tumblr or pretty much any social media besides passive use of Facebook...

    I heard NB people's complaining in some threads about teenagers hijacking certain labels cluelessly and actually seeking some sort of ego boost or whatever.

    Is there such a problem at all? Because if so, it probably is as annoying as the same thing for bisexual people (and I'm not sure about that either, I'm too detatched from teenage world these days).

    So, any insights? Or am I just spending too much time reading comments in places :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    And as bisexuality, non binary spectrum is valid. But, just as there are complaints about "bi for attention", I heard the same with the non binary.
     
  2. JustJJx

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    Depending on where you are on tumblr, non binary identity's are very accepted! Erghh :/ I mean, i only know what i am cause i saw the definition of non binary on tumblr and if someone who is struggling to find out who they are see's it and identify's then great!!
    But people using it as a trend? Or like a fashion accessory? hmmm not impressed.
     
  3. looking for me

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    im sure some are, you always get those. but i dont think it's an actual "thing", at least not in my circle. but i try to avoid tumbler TBH.
     
  4. Lazuri

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    Yes it is. Tumblr is real into the whole social justice warrior thing, but you can't tell people to check their privilege if you're white, cis and straight. so how do you fix that? Easy, you claim you're some form of trans. Suddenly you're white, trans and queer and if anybody says otherwise, they're filthy cis scum.

    It's not like they're a majority, but holy shit are they loud. They love attention so they draw a lot of attention to themselves and gives people who actually have trans identities a bad name.
     
  5. Glowing Eyes

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    There are some attention seekers but they mostly seem to make a label for every specific little detail. I haven't really seen "hijacking" or people using labels they shouldn't although I'm not on Tumblr so I can't guarantee it's not a thing.

    ---------- Post added 25th May 2016 at 10:51 AM ----------

    This is exactly what I was trying to say
     
    #5 Glowing Eyes, May 25, 2016
    Last edited: May 25, 2016
  6. Invidia

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    Never been on tumblr that I keep hearing so much about, or pretty much anything except for fb. I think there's probably a "X for attention" for everything though, so.
     
  7. Shadstack

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    Seriously, type in "#feminism" on Tumblr. They're doing "equal rights" for black people, LGBT people and non-binary. I say "equal rights" because they're so goddamn militant about everything they do and say that it looks like they want superiority. As much as I hate the website, however, I will see the odd okay post.

    Tumblr's really given LGBT a bad name.
     
  8. Delta

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    I think there are people who will use anything for attention, be that lies about gender or sexuality or disability or race. The internet is an easy place to pretend to be something you aren't. But feeling that you have to lie about who you are to get attention goes frequently hand in hand with neglect and abuse or untreated personality disorders, so even if they are faking, the only way they're going to change their behavior is if someone helps them with the things that are actually causing problems for them.

    I think a lot of deeply hurting people use anger in the direction of a cause. They're angry about something personal, but they direct that anger towards trans or feminist issues, or if they're conservative, gun or abortion issues. They make a bad name for the causes, but throwing them under the bus only exacerbates the problem.

    To help people behave as their honest selves, you have to give human respect to that honest self.
     
  9. A Mindful Wolf

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    People should be allowed to identify how they please...As a queer, I'm not entitled to the "queer" label, if someone else wants to describe themselves as queer, despite what I may think, that is for them and not for me to say they can't.
    Even if that guy who has sex with a lot of women wants to identify as gay, I think people have fought hard enough that he should be allowed to do so, it's his identity and at the end of the day nobody can get inside his head and know how he feels.

    You are female; should girls born with vaginas say you aren't female just because you are trans? They could argue that you stole their label, and that would be totally wrong of them. It's the same concept. Labels are just words.
     
  10. Jellal

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    There's also the possibility that they are non-binary and just complete and total douchebags.

    For example, you can be 100% totally gay, but for whatever reason lack self-confidence and so play up your "gayness" as though it is the only facet of your personality, seeking attention.

    Anyway, griping that others are making it harder for "us real non-binary people" is useless. The same could be said for practically every other group of people on the planet who don't like being judged by the worst representatives of their group (Christians, Muslims, and yes, Trump supporters.) So in other words, focus on being the best positive example you can be.
     
    #10 Jellal, May 25, 2016
    Last edited: May 25, 2016
  11. Lazuri

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    The difference here is that people who claim to be some form of trans for the sake of attention end up hurting themselves too. How easy do you think it is to reverse the effects of hormone therapy once they smart up and realize it's not who they are?
     
  12. Delta

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    Well, I mean realistically speaking it's much easier than reversing the hormonal effects your body makes by itself, and trans people do that frequently. There are only very few effects that stay forever after taking hormones for a finite period of time. Genital and breast changes, voice changes, and hair growth patterns. Besides that, the rest eventually reverts back to the way it was before.
     
  13. Irisviel

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    You don't need any hormones to fake being non binary (technically binary too, but it's less common to not take hormones among binary trans).

    I just wonder if people actually do that on social media for whatever reason. Probably yes, because people do all kinds of things.
     
  14. littleraven

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    Yes. There are people who would do all sorts of things. There definitely could be people who see it as a trendy thing for whatever reason. I probably wouldn't go to someone saying that they're faking anything. However, it's definitely a possibility that someone would do this.

    It's really funny when people bring up tumblr. I guess I don't see drama because I simply do not get into it. I just reblog pictures that I like. I don't even look at the LGBT stuff very much and I don't have much LGBT stuff on my page at all . Tumblr has all sorts of people. XD I don't know why the interesting (to refrain from using mean words) people like to be so vocal on tumblr. A lot of us just want to chill, share pictures, and talk. At least as far as I know. I only go on sometimes.

    Edit: I'd also like to add that the erm... "interesting" people on Tumblr seriously make things harder for us NBs who are just trying to live a happy life. Because of people like them, so many people think we're all whiny and/or fake. It's so irritating. Ugh.

    Okay. I'm done ranting for now.
     
    #14 littleraven, May 26, 2016
    Last edited: May 26, 2016
  15. Aberrance

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    Honestly I hate to say this but I've seen so many people on tumblr call themselves transguys and they look completely feminine. Long hair, extremely feminine clothes, makeup. Theyve got nothing to show that theyre trans whatsoever. I understand that there are some people who have to stay in the closet and can't tell anyone but its crazy the amount of people who are on there saying "I hate when I get misgendered, blah blah" like, man, of course people are going to gender you female you look EXACTLY like a stereotypical female. People arent mind readers and they don't automatically question ever persons gender identity when they see them. I wouldn't care if you didn't see them go on about on about how much of a 'cute transboy wearing makeup' they are. Its one thing on tumblr that really gets me going because some people work so hard to try to be read as the gender they identify as and you have people like that who are causing others to completely misunderstand and take the piss out of actual trans people.
     
    #15 Aberrance, May 26, 2016
    Last edited: May 26, 2016
  16. darkcomesoon

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    I think this thread has the potential to get mean, so let's be cautious. It's not our job to judge whether or not someone is actually trans or nonbinary based on how they look, act, or dress. Nor are trans/nonbinary people who don't dress/look/act the way you want them to actually hurting "real trans" people. If other trans people aren't going to take them seriously, it's unlikely cis people are taking them seriously either. It hurts them to have their identities ignored more than it hurts us to have some people online not conforming to our idea of what transness looks like.

    I don't think enough people pretend to be trans for it to be a problem. I think there are people who identify as trans because they don't quite understand it well enough, and will later figure out that they're not trans, but I don't think many are doing it just for attention. It's more harmful to scrutinize the behavior and presentation of lots of actual trans people to make sure they're "really trans" than it is to let a small handful of people pretend to be nonbinary online.
     
  17. Delta

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    Thank you for this. I face enormous scrutiny over... Well, whether or not I should be allowed to exist. And I'm androgynously presenting and everything, so I probably don't even get the worst of it. I think it's a lot worse to hurt a person than to accidentally please someone who wants attention.
     
  18. Synesthesia

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    I don't know, I'm not about invalidating people's gender identity so I take them at their word on that but a problem is some of the more outspoken teenagers who say stuff like 'everyone is transphobic, everyone is racist' and act really condescendingly etc. It's not really a non-binary thing so much as some political circles in general, but the non-binary people stand out a lot.
     
  19. gravechild

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    People have said the same thing about bisexuality. The problem I have with this line of thinking is that it never ends: who is "trans enough" has been debated since the earliest days of the movement. Eventually, you come full circle, and no one is left standing.

    I also think a part of it is a greater awareness of what trans is, along with the internet making it easier to connect with others, and maybe a bit of millennial entitlement? It's hard to peg these things down to one cause. One butch lesbian told me that if she had been a young adult in 2016, she would have identified as a trans man, instead, and plenty of older cross dressers and queens have said the same.

    The way I see it, just like some things were big in the eighties, people will sort themselves out. Being young, they're still exploring themselves, so it's possible they'll take a step back. It's also possible they'll stay exactly where they are, since some folks are more self-aware at an early age.
     
  20. Mihael

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    Who cares? Teenagers are just kids, they need to try things out. If someone genuinely does that for attention - there are better things to do for attention than being non-binary. And if a teenager is doing it for attention - it's just kids...

    ---------- Post added 26th May 2016 at 12:37 PM ----------

    That's interesting, because that's exactly what I identify with.